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This, and the obvious attempt at desperately finding a rebound relationship after the case Zeb.

Though you can keep calling me 'monsieur,' if you like. I'm kind of enjoying it.

...in fact, maybe you'd like to keep calling me 'monsieur' over drinks...?

Probably with the same amount of shock I had when I learned the Doctor had fathered my child. And for the record, I'm pregnant again, this time with triplets, except I'm not sure if the children are Zeb's or the Detective's or Jacques', or maybe one of each.

F--k's sake.

How did you react when you learned that your partner's date Jacques Bonnefoy is only a cheap way to get a substitute for his impossible relationship with canon character Jack Harkness?

Is there anything you can tell us regarding the fact Agent Zeb is using you as an obvious way for him to have an ersatz of dating the canon character Jack Harkness?

We Sons didn't "sign on" with the ruinous powers out of hatred or spite. We acted as we did because we had no other choice. We were played, and by The Architect of Fate himself. If you stood in our place, I do not doubt you would feel the same.

All the knowledge I have gained did was provide further confidence in that assertion. Given the knowledge we had, we did as best we could.

I do not have a favorite portrayal as of yet.

I don't have any interest in dating Jack. He and Jacques are totally different people who just happen to look the same. I'm not dating him because he's a replacement. I'm dating him because I love him.

Thank you, Mr. Zeb, I have everything I need for our next article. Don't forget to procure yourself our next paper soon. We're expecting having your partner's input about this situation soon.

I can be your agent, which works, because gasp, I'm already an agent! You should totally message Other Talia and Old Talia (that's what I'm calling them, by the way; you can be New Talia! It'll be like the Spice Girls or something!) and work out what instruments you're all playing.

OOH! EXCLAMATION! Or are you just going to be singing?

What made you turn from the light of the Emperor and become a filthy heretic sign on with the Ruinous Powers? Has access to what is essentially the absolute truth of your home canon changed your perspective on your choices at all? Do you have a favorite media portrayal of your home? I'm quite fond of Dawn of War, myself.

But then, diplomacy has never been my strong suit, so why not?

I suppose if I were to pick something I truly dislike, it would be summed up in one word: paladin. I can not abide moral busybodies poking about in the affairs of others. If I needed someone bleating in my ear to do my job I'd have stayed home.

However, in fairness to Larkus, he has thus far not unreasonably intruded on my business. For his sake I hope it stays that way.

Larkus: I try to find the good things about people more than the bad, but If you're gonna put me on the spot, I'll say this, he's overdue for an attitude adjustment. He's not the worst company I've had, but I think his powers have gone to his head a touch. Arrogant, you know? I get it, he's a mage, he's older than me, he thinks he knows the ropes, but he's liable to get us both killed if he doesn't learn how to work with a partner soon.

Because oh my god I can just take off and fly. I... didn't know I needed that? But I needed that- it's an incredible feeling, when heights feel like opportunity and options rather than being scary. The firebending is cool? Well, kinda exactly the opposite, you know what I mean- but flying is everything.

I haven't met either of them yet, but I think I need to! We'll call ourselves The Talias? Hmm. That'll need some work, but I'm totally in for an all-Talia band.

What's the most interesting aspect of being a phoenix?

That would get in the way of good, high-quality journalism!

Ilraen, god dammit, what did I tell you about talking to the Monitor?!

<They were only asking about Farilan! I did not say a single thing about you!>

That doesn't matter! You can't give these people anything, and you should know that by now!

And you should know you can't believe a word they say. We're done here. Bye.

I'm not sure how we haven't crossed paths before - I wouldn't say I'm in SIELU often, but I get called in for Grelvish consultations occasionally (don't laugh; I never meant to pick it up). Mostly I end up stuck talking to Ramwë, though.

So: greetings to you beneath the stars beyond Arda. I am Huinesoron, of the PPC, of Nargothrond before the Sudden Flame, of Tirion upon Túna in the days of bliss. I would be glad to make your acquaintance, and remember with you the Elder Days of the world.

Provided we don't have to do it in thrice-detested Original Quendian.

Huinesoron

((... we should totally write a First Age Get-Together. Excuse me while I go off for about an hour to see how many agents would show up...

Okay, so Naergondir, Huinesoron, Dafydd, obviously. Duros Black used to live in Gondolin. Hawthorne is a Maglor replacement. Kevin Talathion comes from southern Beleriand. And... that seems to be it? Our dwarves are from later, Vemi was from much earlier, and I think all our Mannish types are from the Third Age, as is Jareth the Uruk-hai. Huh. ~hS))

Hera, of course, is far too good to do any work beyond carrying messages, and Ilwion is a bit... well, spoiled these days. Dafydd keeps talking about finding the kids a cat (I think he has some kind of kinship with them), but that bronze is all the feline anyone needs. He sunbathes as often as he can; I have to send Hera to badger him into pulling his weight when we actually need something.

It's good to hear Zeke doesn't take after his sire; the worlds need more helpful people!

C

Okay. Look, this is probably kind of time-wasting, and I'm sorry, but Gwil--my fire lizard--she saw me writing messages and got very, very insistent, so...uh, to all your fire lizards, Gwilithiel the gold (ha, sounds like a wizard name) sends her greetings and wishes you...something to do with food, I don't even know what she's trying to get across. Let's say she wishes you a feast, or something, that's at least a nice thought.

So, ah, yes. This would be me, casually contacting people who retired soon before I even joined. Because of a fire lizard who got really excited at the idea of multiple fire lizards and writing messages.

Hi. I hope you're all doing well. And that's the console, so I'm just going to send this before Gwil decides she wants to try typing for herself--wish you all the best--

Dawn

Agent Huinesoron, greetings.

To my knowledge, we have never met; and perhaps there is just cause for it. Should that prove true, I will not waste your time in argument.

However: I am Noldorin, as, I hear, are you, and was of the First Age besides. Should you wish it, I would be glad to make your acquaintance. To speak to another who lived in the same lands, with the same cultures--it would be a grace I had not thought to find after my partner's departure for Endor.

Yours in hope, Naergondir

-- ((I did think of sending a message to Dafydd, but on the one hand he already has a question, and on the other...that would be so awkward. "Hello! I, er, hear you...ah...might have been...Maglor. How...nice. Excuse me while my wish to stay far away from you wars with my wish to talk to someone who lived through my time..." I mean, in an interlude it could be pretty amusing, but for a message exchange I'm not sure how well it'd hold up. Though you never know, I guess. ~Z))

Endor did not contain so many devices made of moving metal parts and surfaces which display information. This unfortunately necessitated the invention of words on our part, although in some cases we have simply borrowed the English term. However, describing them was less strange than learning to use them; for my hands, by then, were more accustomed to grip a blade than a device which even the crafters among the Noldor would not have thought to design. I will not deny their usefulness, but neither can I ignore the lack of grace in their shaping.

Culturally, it has been strange; but how could it not be so, when our kindred here are few and scattered? It is not so dissimilar, however, to some places in Endor, and so, though it is sometimes lonely, it is not unbearably unfamiliar.

Seriously?

Then again, I've seen the latest report. You're going to twist what I say no matter what...

Well, then. Yes. I am absolutely taking advantage of Zeb. Because that's apparently what I do, taking advantage of people like this, so obviously that's what's been happening with Zeb. I definitely didn't have a conversation with him three years ago about what exactly he could expect from me, and I've absolutely seduced him multiple times into the salacious art of baking pies and watching movies. He's definitely only with me because I've overwhelmed him or blackmailed him or something like that.

You know, considering this has been going on for three years, wouldn't someone like Dawn or, I don't know, the Aviator have put a stop to it by now if I really was taking advantage of Zeb? Assuming he wouldn't have done it himself? Sometimes you people just don't think.

-Jacques