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Do you have any idea how long I've been trying to make that a thing? And like, I've razzed him about him and Jötun, because that whole thing is weird as hell and it's funny, but that ain't the problem. I think I could deal with it if it were, but nah. For someone with a bod that hot, the man is just weirdly cold. Jerk.
Also, that pic? Totally happened, but it didn't happen happen. And now you're gonna give it to me and tell me how you got it before I give you a nose job with my fist.
"Are you accusing me of seduction to claim and keep my job? Because both of these individuals, viewed in the proper light, could be considered my bosses. Honestly - of all the probable rudenesses I could have possibly considered being asked to answer to during this whole affair - by which I mean the mailbox affair, thank you very much - this was certainly nowhere on the list! I expect nothing less than a full apology for this slight to my honor, sir, madam, or whichever alternative form of address you may personally prefer. Hmph!"
I'm in! Taking questions for...everyone you've seen, really:
RC Pie (2.1459), DIC
RC 18, DMS
Dawn McKenna I really need to update that page oh man. It's on the list. It's not the only one, either.
RC 29, DMS
RC 1500, SIELU
Gurnirel (First Age Noldorin elleth, recruited in 2013)
Naergondir (First Age Noldorin ellon, recruited in 2013)
RC 5242, ESAS
RC 7221, DOGA
RC 41123, DIC
Allison Brown (from, uh, beyond the grave. Don't expect questions about how she died to get you much--understandably, it's a touchy subject)
Nursery
RC Unknown, DMS Harry Potter Division
Salok (I guess? It could be good to get more of a sense of him. He, ah, died in the Assimilation Crisis in December 2006--Vulcan, T'Zar's husband. If you'd like to ask questions of a ghost, go for it!)
Miss Of Borune, is it true that your love of trees has led you into a literally sappy affair with Hornbeam the Ironwood? Is the Hippie Sequoia jealous? Can we expect the pitter-patter of little taproots sometime in the near future?
But I do know they exist in their own parallel kitchens. We sometimes leave each other notes, whenever our planes of reality overlap. My favorite pen buddy cook is Zurek the Tuskarr.
As for the other part, of COURSE I'm freaking out about it, why did you bring it up!? But.. for now one thing that's keeping me grounded to the kitchen is my desire to break the Cafeteria's Curse of Comedically Catastrophic Cuisine.
You get to actually enjoy those comfortable chairs you're so enthusiastic for? Because the DMS doesn't strike me as the kind of work environment you'd get to really enjoy many things, let alone sitting comfortably down!
Also my current chair, which is a real old boy, is making really kooky creaking sounds. Got any recommendations for a replacement when this thing eventually collapses beneath me and breaks my pelvis?
I mean, Thoth and Derik I can see. Those two are two stops shy of jumping into a bed together or something. Okay, not really, but the blatant and unintended homoeroticism is fun to mock.
But... I mean, I don't even go to Rudi's once a week, much less with Talia. Although she did buy me a beer once. It was after I finally beat her at Quake.
I won at Instagib. And as it turns out, Corona tastes terrible.
Questions are open for two new agents, and one maybe.
Is it true that you've been taking one Agent Talia out to Rudi's weekly for private dates, sometimes joined by Agents Thoth and Derik?
Wrong Legion, but oh well. I am not at all surprised that this exists. {X D
~Neshomeh
...Who claimed this, and what did they say?
Apologies, I merely need to know whom to... reward for their behavior.
In answer to your question, no. I presently have no romantic interests. I respect Derik, and we share a kinship, forged of a mutual respect and understanding. It seems some people are incapable of distinguishing this from romance. This is neither my fault nor my responsibility.
What do you have to say about the rumors that you're desperately in love with Agent Derik?
Have you ever seen another cook in the kitchen? Do you worry about eventually vanishing like all those that came before you? Or, I mean, they might still be there. Who would know?
FicPsych has therapy animals. We can get you in a room full of adorable kittens. Covered with kittens. Dripping with adorable!
That's great. Can I get a picture of you kissing an adorable kitten? The readers will love it.
I have much better things with which to waste my time. Like watching 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians', for instance.
While it is true that the PPC is an easier place to live than... my prior accommodations, I do my best to maintain my strength and ability.
I do, however, doubt that Derik is a bleeding heart of any sort. And in my time with him, I haven't noticed any actively dripping physical wounds, either. I do not know any large and dangerous monsters who tend to throw fire on a regular basis, however. If I encounter a Pyrae, I shall have to ask them.
Tai-chi.
I might go away... if you give me a remote activator for a day. I promise to bring it back when I'm done.
Is it true that you've hung up your armor for good? Have you gone soft? Does it have anything to do with the amount of time you're spending with one Agent Derik, noted bleeding-heart for large, dangerous, fire-throwing monsters? Do you prefer yoga, or tai chi?
(( {; P ))
Tell me, human child, what will it take to make you go away? I don't have any sweets to give you, and Technician Dives tells me it's considered rude to threaten bodily harm to small, annoying creatures, even if I have no intention of following up on said threats.