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SttQ decided no piece of chalk was worth this. She picked herself up and worked her way out of the small-scale melee that had broken out near the soapbox. She headed over for one of the pillars and sat down against it. Digging in her bag, she discovered her copy of 'Moby Dick' and opened it at the bookmark. This invasion could take a while, so she might as well get comfortable.

The first fic begins here.

Her pounding headache receded when she held it against her bruised forehead. Taking the thermos of gazpacho from SttQ, she held that against her sore ankle.

"Thanks," she murmured. The fog in her head cleared. "This happened about a year ago," she went on. "I was really new back then, so I was freaking out, but the trolls and spambots never got this far. We should be safe here, and as soon as the Nameless Admin and the rest of 'em finish clearing them out, we'll be able to go back." She winced slightly as she shifted the icepack against her head. "Of course, last year I wasn't dumb enough to run smack into a spambot. I hope they don't make this an annual thing. That would piss me off so much."

First off, have a big "NEWBIE!" t-shirt to wear around HQ. You'll be getting more gifts as people come here from the usual board.

Then, read The Original Series if you haven't already, then hang around, think about agents you'd like to write about once you can get permission, and have fun.

1. Journey to Gondolin: The Hidden City » by PinkMartini reviews
   Legolas is sent out by his father to rescue the Princess of Gondolinthe Hidden City, with questions looming on how she was kidnapped. Will the rescue and the journey back be an easy one? Most importantly, will Legolas and the princess survive each other?
   Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 17,290 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 8-25-10 - Published: 8-18-10 - Legolas
   
   My comment: The timeline is tied in knots. Gondolin still exists while Thorin Oakenshield draws breath while Legolas and Gimli are friends. And that's an udûn of a transparent alias.
   
   2. My Fairytale » by Ayra Sei Ethari reviews
   Estel daughter of Elessar has lost everything: father, mother, sister, brother - and freedom. When she is given a second chance at life, she finds herself in what she was always told was a fairytale. Is it? Or is it the past she was meant to live?
   Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 55 - Words: 115,586 - Reviews: 116 - Updated: 8-27-10 - Published: 11-30-09 - Aragorn & Legolas
   
   My comment: Where do I begin...
   
   3. Girl's dresses » by 1wolfie1 reviews - NSFW!
   What would of happened between Susan and Teatime if Banjo hadn't been there to stop him from pulling girl's hair. Warming, it had a mature rating for a reason there is also a clean edit on my page
   Discworld - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,360 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 2-17-10 - Published: 2-3-10 - Jonathan T. & Susan Sto Helit - Complete
   
   My comment: +++ Mr. Jelly! Mr. Jelly! +++

SttQ rummaged through her tote bag. Somewhere in there she had to have... Ah, bingo!

She took out a thermos full of gazpacho and a clean handkerchief, and quickly handed them over to PitViper. "Here ya go. It's not exactly ice, but it's pretty cold."

Zipping up her bag, she ran over to the soapbox and started scrambling for a piece of chalk.

as she heard a newcomer ask for an ice pack. Fortunately, she'd just finished bandaging Sergio's arm and she hastily scrabbled in the first aid kit again. She was sure she'd seen an ice pack in here.
"Just a moment," she said. The other boarder looked distinctly wobbly on her feet. "Why don't you sit down? Can someone give her a hand?"
Ah, here was an ice pack. She broke the inner seal and gave it a shake, then handed it over. She really hoped that an ice pack and a rest were all PitViper needed - Galenfea's last first aid class now seemed a very long time ago.
"Does he mean that we're going to get invaded even here?" she asked another nearby refugee, trying and failing to keep the nervousness out of her voice. She couldn't expect her luck to hold for another invasion, and she wasn't much of a fighter.

PitViper was barely lucid enough to do much more than hobble out of their way. At least someone was taking charge; everyone else was sort of wandering around like lost sheep. Including PitViper herself, of course.

[i]Ypurs? Great... Geez, when will this stupid invasion be over? I miss the Posting Board already...[/i]

"Does anybody have an ice pack?" she asked no one in particular. "I kinda got beaned by a spambot. They hurt. A lot."

Hardly anyone noticed when a dazed Boarder staggered into the midst of the refugees. PitViperOfDoom glanced around through bleary eyes, recognizing a relatively new Boarder standing with Cassie Cameron-Young.

"Beats me," the Boarder was saying. "All I know is that there's some kind of invasian going on. Do you know anything more?"

PitViper limped over on a badly sprained ankle. "Trolls in the dungeon," she said, still feeling a bit dizzy after a spambot had crashed into her head. "Thought you ought to know... what?" She nearly fell over, but caught herself and leaned on her cricket bat as thought it was a cane. "Did you know that cricket bats are barely effective against trolls? I just found that out. The hard way." She glanced over, seeing an older Boarder speaking to the refugees. "Looks like someone's taking charge, though."

...The Ypurs are helping us kill them.

...and saw that the smattering of refugees inside the shelter had grown exponentially. Many were keeping to themselves, setting up tarps, blankets, and futons, or quietly entertaining themselves if they had already done so, but a lot of them were still wandering about, confused. To make matters worse, what older Boarders Edward could see were quietly chatting among themselves, paying no mind to the hushed chaos around them.

Edward limped through the crowd, looking for something to stand on. His left knee had been broken and set poorly when he was about 5, and being thrown to the pavement by a troll hadn't helped it one bit. He finally found an empty soapbox almost directly in the middle of the crowd, probably the work of the Ironic Overpower. He kicked it a bit to the left, felt pain shoot through his leg and his side, and decided it was good where it was. He stood on it and whistled for attention.

It wasn't very noisy, and everyone's attention turned to him immediatly. He paused a second, coughed, and winced in pain from the movement. Finally regaining his composure, he began adressing the crowd. "First order of business. Does anybody have something I can use as a crutch?" An AK-47 flew out of the crowd, and he caught it awkwardly. He disconnected the ammo, put it in his pocket, and leaned on the gun. "Thank you, I guess. Second, everyone get out of the way of the door. A whole bunch of Ypurs are going to be coming through that door, and if you don't all move right now someone's going to get trampled. Okay, good... good... that's fine. Does anybody have any chalk?" A pack of chalk followed the AK. "Alright, very good. I need...six volunteers to take some of the chalk and draw, let's say, a four-by four grid of streets on the floor like a city block, centered on this box. They have to be at least big enough for two Ypurs to walk side-by-side." Boarders scrambled forward for the chalk, and began ordering others around.

Galenfea had finally found a first aid kit and made her way back to the growing crowd. It looked like she'd got off extremely lightly. Perhaps she'd found a safe route. In that case, surely it would be her duty to go back and help others?
First things first, though. She went over to Sergio, who was leaning on a pillar, one hand to a bloodstained sleeve.
"What the hell is happening? There are bots everywhere. I had the time to pack only a few things, they nearly got me."
"I'm not sure," Galenfea replied. "I just got the message we were evacuating and came straight away." She pointed to the cut. "Did they do that? Do you want me to have a look at it?"

"Beats me," she replied. "All I know is that there's some kind of invasion going on." She turned back to Cassie. "Do you know anything more?"

I think the reason this Board doesn't get hit by spammers is because we don't use it that frequently. There's no point-- from a bot's perspective (I think...), or a troll's-- in spamming a forum where nobody's around. The activity on the 'Board is generally pretty high, so spamming is more likely. If we switched to this link, we'd probably start getting hit here, too.

_{Also, the link is harder to remember.}

Here, have a whisk! It's excellent for Author!Wrait exorcisms. And omelettes.

I should let you know that, as this is a writing community, which does seek to mock and ridicule poor writing, we do have fairly high standards both in fanfic and posting. Read: punctuation and capitals appreciated!

Generally, a horde of members will descend on you with gifts comprehensible and otherwise, and someone provides the List Of Links, but we're all a bit distracted by the ypur invasion at the moment, so it might be a while. Meanwhile, take a look around, engage in discussions and/or silliness, and make yourself at home!

Oh-- and you can leave your sanity at the door. You won't be needing it here.

Sergio Turbo entered the bunker and slammed shut the door.
"I made it." he said.
He put his right hand on a cut on his left arm, and leaned to a pillar.
"What the hell is happening? There are bots everywhere. I had the time to pack only a few things, they nearly got me."

"Yup," she said. "Close call. Made it out of the house just in time. So, you okay?"

"Hey there," she said, on seeing one of the others approach. "You just made it out of there too?"

Cautiously, a pale, scared-looking redhead inched open the bunker doors, and squeezed through, making as little noise as possible. Slowly closing the doors behind her, Sister-to-the-Queen
(or SttQ, as she prefered to be called) slumped against them, weak with relief. She'd made it.

The Spambots had been only half a mile from her house when she'd checked her e-mail and seen Edward's message. After a horrified glance through her window, she'd tossed a bunch of random items into her biggest tote bag and fled out the back door. Sneaking through the city's network of dark, interconnected alleyways, she'd been able to reach the bunker without being spotted by the bots.

She looked around, searching for any familiar faces. She spotted Cassie, who had apparently just arrived as well, and walked over to her.

Silikat ran through the door of the bunker, slightly scorched from a passing Spambot attack. She was late to everything anyway, but being late to an invasion was just annoying.

In her haste, she had just thrown everything useful into a bag, most importantly her Classic!Doctor Who DVDs and Harry Potter books, and ran to the bunker. She didn't even have time to pick up her notebooks!

Stumbling through the door, she got a couple of odd glances, which she ignored as she sat cross-legged on the floor, turned her laptop's volume up and slid City of Death into the DVD slot.

Cassie arrived at a rather high speed, her Bag still not quite fastened from the rushed packing. Having received late word from outside the Posting Board that the invasion had begun, she'd barely taken the time to check the Board before making her escape, and had very narrowly avoided a blow from a Spambot in doing so.

Now, with a Bag stuffed with clothes, chocolate and her entire bookcase's contents (along with several other useful items that were no doubt in there somewhere), she skidded into the bunker in her usual haphazard fashion, looking as disorganised as physically possible.

"What'd I miss?" She narrowly avoided crashing into some of the others as she came to a halt. "Sorry! Just got the news - this is getting silly, huh? Every bloody summer. Is everyone okay?"

Galenfea had mostly been trying to lay low during the troll attacks, avoiding getting involved and trying to concentrate on other things, but when she heard Edward's announcement of the evacuation she hurriedly packed up her laptop, all the Tolkien books she could carry and a few other personal items (including, reluctantly, her homework) and followed his directions to the bunker.

When she arrived, she stopped almost in the doorway to look around. There were a few people here already, setting up camp with the assurance of practice. Evidently they were experienced boarders and had been through an evacuation before. Galenfea stepped out of the way of someone coming in behind her and wove among the columns, looking for somewhere to settle down. Perhaps when she'd staked out a corner to call her own, she might go and talk to some of the others and find out what she might do to be useful, a true member of this community. She knew a few boarders had been injured - Edward had taken a blow to the side, for one - and maybe her first aid training would be of help. Somewhere like this must have a first aid kit, and at the moment she wasn't sure what else she could do.

She set down her backpack in an unoccupied niche and tossed her jacket over it, then began trying to find her way towards the sound of voices.

Again, I'm sorry for the allcaps. Any questions you have about what's going on, please put here, and I will answer you as best I can and/or find the answer. This is merely so that we don't have pages and pages and pages of people throwing the same questions back and forth over and over and over again.

General Information for Those Who Haven't Done Evac Before: The Posting Board is under attack by spambots. Techno-D and the Nameless Admin are working to fix this. The best thing you can do to help is stay off the Posting Board. This is the Message Board, it is exactly the same as the Posting Board except that this is less accessible to spammers. We're going to stay here until we get the word that we can go back to the Posting Board.

Any other questions, add here. (Please read over the questions already posted before you add more. I'm trying to keep the length of this post down to a minimum.)

Edward staggered into the bunker and slumped against the wall, breathing heavily. The bunker itself was breathtaking - it was on a similar scale to the Mines of Moria, albeit with a very low ceiling - but Edward was in no mood to be awed.

He poked his right side, and winced. The Spamtroll had only scored a glancing blow before the Nameless Admin had blasted it to smithereens, and it had been bandaged up, but it still hurt like bejeezus.

He looked around. A couple of the older Boarders were chatting quietly with eachother in the center of the room, but other than that, there was nothing but the enormous cement pillars that dotted the bunker.

That was a problem.

He dropped his pack and staggered to his feet. People needed to know what was going on, and it seemed like nobody else was going to tell them. Ignoring the other Boarders, he walked back out of the relative peace of the Message Board into the pure havoc that was the Posting Board.

Just to pass the time while we're bunkering down here...

I've always thought of the Board as a sort of a small city, or perhaps a neighborhood or district of a larger city. The city is, in this case, the Internet. Or perhaps WebApps is the city, and the Internet is the country. Though since it's the World Wide Web technically the Internet should be the world, but that's mixing metaphors so badly that I'm not even going to go there. At least, not further than I have already gone.

In any case, here's the scenario - the city that is the Board is under attack. Secretly, the Boarders are being evacuated to here. Now, the question is, what would happen? Who would help the others find their way in the new city, who would merely wait to be helped, who would go ax-crazy on the other Boarders at the mere mention of relocation, and who would randomly start painting everything purple and begin quacking like a duck? I don't know, but I'd like to find out.

Rules of engagement: You're still a Boarder. Not one of your Agents, a Boarder. This may sound...control-freakish, but if we were Agents then that would make this an Emergency, and that's been banned under no uncertain terms. You use your and other people's Board usernames, and you act naturally for the situation.

Other than that, it's just a basic RP with the above them of relocation into a new city. This may be the greatest idea ever, this may be a terrible idea, this may be ignored due to the masses of people saying OMG WHERE ARE WE above it. Lets just see. I'll start, if nobody minds.