Subject: "Excuuuuse me."
Author:
Posted on: 2018-06-13 22:38:00 UTC
"I can belch and hunt with my bare hands as well as the rest of them," Dax said, holding up a sassy finger, "but I like to think my manners can be quite nice, when I want them to be." He leaned forward and conspiratorially whispered, "You haven't seen me eating with my hands, have you?"
Because apparently watching Jacques Bonnefoy flirt with people in RP format is entertaining enough to spawn this!
Essentially: some mad brave soul has set up a speed-dating event in HQ. No, it was not Jacques, what are these lies. Everyone is welcome, whether they've wandered in for the free food and drinks or are actually looking to meet people (whether for platonic or non-platonic purposes. Hey, you can make friends in the strangest of places!)
At one of the tables is one Jacques Bonnefoy, ESAS. Being a former Jack Harkness character replacement, he's quite used to getting attention--and he loves it. He's here to make as many friends, acquaintances, and everything in between as possible, and will talk to absolutely anyone who cares to approach him.
--
Essentially, this started up when, in the middle of a Discord roleplay, I mentioned it would be amusing to write something for the badfic games about Jacques going around and trying to flirt with as many agents as he could find. Then it became 'well, it would be interesting to get lists of how all different agents would react and then write based on that...' which in turn became 'there could be a thread somewhere to get IC lists?' which Thoth then said should be a roleplay thread. So, after a bit of convincing, here we are.
(There was a speed-dating roleplay thread in the past. I have not tracked it down to check exactly how it worked, and am not the one who ran it. If anyone remembers something from it that would make this one run smoother, feel free to mention!)
While this did start because of Jacques and he is mentioned above, he's by no means the only person around! He's just the agent I'm immediately throwing out there, because, let's face it, this is exactly his scene. He will cheerfully flirt and/or make friends with anyone who's open to it.
Please do start many subthreads that have nothing to do with him. Multiple conversations with the same characters are quite fine as well--speed-dating is built for it!
And, as always, Permission is unnecessary for RP participation. All are welcome!
Enjoy, I hope?
~Z
PS: Should you wish to, perhaps, mention how even characters you don't want to actually throw in here would react to being flirted with by Jacques...well, you may see that (perhaps deliberately poorly) fictionalized come the next Badfic Games in September ;) The more amusing the better!
She'd gotten the invitation to this "speed dating" event, and she'd thought it was a good idea to come. She wasn't really looking for romance, but she'd only been in HQ for a few weeks now, and thought she'd come and get to know some people. Before heading down, she'd given her mane a more careful trim than usual.
(( Now, being flirted with by Jacques: - Once Peregrin had realized what was happening, it'd set him to reminiscing about his youth and also explaining he's not that interested. - Taq would be kinda weirded out by this - Kk'kttak's reaction would be along the lines of "crazy humans" and being pretty uninterested if/when he noticed the attempt - Farah would likely flirt back a bit, though it probably wouldn't go too far. - Florian is Not Interested. They're also basically a Dalek with a bunch of fire hoses and water canons and such attached, and so probably not prime flirting material. ))
He'd changed out of his usual things into a black silk tunic and boots that weren't scuffed and dusty, and his hair was braided even more elaborately than usual. He spotted Jacques at one of the tables and waved, but decided to sit elsewhere. He and Jacques had seen each other plenty of times in the past; no need to hog his favorite partner at a speed dating event.
He took a seat and looked around interestedly.
((As for how my characters would react to Jacques:
The Aviator would flirt back with heavy sarcasm Zeb would be like "Oh, are we on another date? :D" Charlotte and Ix: Well, you know, Dax flirts back Lorson sits there stony-faced Farilan laughs derisively Alex just grins And Olivine gives him a puzzled look and goes "Hang on, are you flirting, Squishy?"
Well, more the movieverse sort, but Elves were Elves, to some extent...
"Hi," she said cheerfully. She'd worn the same thing she'd worn on a short, easy mission earlier that day, which was to say her skirt was colorful, her shirt was black and had a potted cactus flashpatch on the shoulder, and her hair was in its usual very long braid. She'd redone the latter for neatness and added a ribbon into the braiding as her sole concession to being at an event. "Do you mind if I sit? I thought I'd start with someone I don't know, and while I do think I've seen you around a few times, I'm pretty sure we've never actually met."
"No, please, do sit!" he said, hurriedly getting up from his seat to pull the other chair out for her. "You look familiar too, but I couldn't say where from..." He shook his head and held out a hand. "Dax, DIC. May I say it's lovely to meet you, miss...?"
She shook his hand, smiling. "You've probably seen me around, too--I've been an agent for ages, and there's only so long you can be here before half of HQ's passed you in the hallways."
"Dawn McKenna? I've heard a lot about you from Jacques Bonnefoy, if you're her. Either way—" He returned to his seat, steepling his fingers and smiling. "I look forward to getting to know you better."
"Wait...Dax." She frowned, eyeing him. "If that isn't your only face, and believe me, I don't mean to suggest you have a lot of them at once, but if it isn't, then I've heard about you too." Including some things I wish I hadn't, especially now I'm probably sitting across from you.
Dax's smile widened and his features morphed into Jacques' likeness. "Tall, handsome, with a jawline that could cut steel..." He smiled at Dawn. "And yes—you'd be very correct that I've got a lot of faces. Comes with being a shapeshifter." He leaned back as he returned to his first, elven body. "I find potential partners sometimes like to make requests, if that's your thing."
She almost wished he'd stuck with Jacques' face--odd as that was, hearing Jacques-but-not-Jacques (and not Jack, either) speak, she was at least used to him by now. This was new.
Still, shapeshifting? That was pretty cool, even if she could technically do it herself with the disguise generator. Maybe just trying to pretend he was Jacques would help with talking, too.
She smiled. "I don't know about the potential partners thing, unless you mean temporary agent partners, but...do you know the Chronicles of Prydain? They get almost no badfic, so I hardly ever get to go there, but it's been a favorite series of mine for years. I'd love to see characters from it face to face again."
Dax looked up at the ceiling, rubbing his chin. "Ah! Princess Eilonwy work for you?" she asked as she morphed. "Sorry, I haven't heard about that series since, oh, three years ago in Intelligence?" She brushed her hair over her shoulder, smiling.
"Aw, lovely," she said. "I always liked Eilonwy. You should read--reread?--the series, if you don't mind a recommendation. It's really good, and it holds up really well."
"I'll definitely keep that in mind," she said, shifting back. "These days, it's all the big stuff—Avengers, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings—I actually kind of miss my smaller fandoms. Not that I like seeing badfic for them," he added hurriedly. "Though that does remind me, where are you from? I come from Dungeons and Dragons. Tabletop RPG, if you haven't heard of it."
"I'm just from World One, though--Canada, if you have any idea where that is. My family's still living there--well, my biological family. I've definitely got a few people here who couldn't be anything but family by now."
Dax grinned. "I kid, I kid—I know my World One geography. Now, me, I was raised in an orc tribe in the northern wilds of Faerûn. Cross my heart, that's the truth."
"Are you sure that's not just an excuse?" she said. "Like, if someone asks 'were you raised by orcs', as an equivalent of 'were you raised in a barn'--and then you say that actually, you were, and you find that offensive? Or, like, they just go 'oh, you poor dear', and excuse whatever manners they thought were bad to begin with because they think you actually were raised by orcs?"
"I can belch and hunt with my bare hands as well as the rest of them," Dax said, holding up a sassy finger, "but I like to think my manners can be quite nice, when I want them to be." He leaned forward and conspiratorially whispered, "You haven't seen me eating with my hands, have you?"
"I haven't seen you eating at all. You can really hunt with your bare hands, though? Because if you can, that's pretty impressive."
"Alright, I might have embellished the truth a little bit," he confessed. "I know how to do that in theory, but in practice? Give me a longbow any day, please. I've got the strength score of a mealworm." He gave Dawn an easy smile. "Now, doing a backflip off a dragon and onto the skyship below? Been there, done that."
"You what? Off a dragon? On a skyship?"
Dax spread his hands. "What can I say? I was an adventurer. Crazy stunts like that happened every day for me."
"No wonder Jacques likes you. Well," she added, "I know it's not the only reason, but an adventurer? That's really cool."
"I've lived a pretty long life—seen a lot of stuff, too. Skyship guard, lover of dragons, killer of demons, delver of the Elemental Planes..." Conspiratorially, he added, "It all sounds very impressive, but that's pretty typical of Dungeons and Dragons games. Still, if you'd like me to, I could share some more stories... maybe over dinner?"
Annoyingly, her cheeks were heating up again. It was the suddenness of the invitation that had done it; she wasn't used to people flirting with her at random, and especially not with dinner offers. Definitely not dinner offers within half an hour of meeting her.
Then again, could this really be called random? It was technically a speed-dating event, and she had chosen to sit down here...
"I do like stories," she said cautiously, "and that really does sound pretty interesting--and, well, food is always great, I like food, everyone likes food--but I'm not, uh, really looking for...well, I came here mostly to make friends. Or maybe find someone to date, but that'd be more by chance, I think--I'm not really, seriously, actively looking. And, um, feel free to prove me wrong, but from the little bit I know about you, I don't really think we'd be looking for the same things there?"
"Fling or friends, it doesn't matter to me," he said. "So long as the food is good and the company better. And so far, you've been excellent company, Dawn." He smiled at her. "I wouldn't mind getting to know you better, no strings attached."
"That sounds good, then," she said. "Have you tried the pizza in New Cal?" She paused. "You have tried pizza at all, right? I'm pretty sure you've been here at least...three years? Something like that? Because if you haven't, it's a crying shame and we're definitely getting some. Unless you have something against any of the ingredients."
"To be completely frank, I find pizza an absolutely horrid invention. Cheese makes me sick, and tomatoes? Absolutely disgusting. I'll accept nothing less than raw boar's meat."
He held it for another second before cracking up. "Nah, pizza's great. You like olives?"
"Green, though, especially on pizza. Or kalamata. Kalamata are delicious. I stopped liking black olives sometime after childhood, though--I'll eat them if they're around, I guess, but I definitely don't go looking for them."
"And don't worry about New Cal—I've been there dozens of times. It's a nice place. Weather should be starting to cool off a bit, too," Dax added. "Make a day of it, maybe?"
"That sounds lovely. Do you know when you'll be free, or should we just set it up by ICEP?"
Dax pulled a small notebook out of his tunic and scribbled a number before tearing out the page and handing it to Dawn. "RC 1337—send me a message whenever you're free, and I'll make time for you."
"Thanks," she said when she felt she had it down to a smile. "I'm in RC 18, if you...actually, I don't know why you'd need to know that, especially since you can look up my ICEP without it if you have to, but I'm used to reciprocating."
Dax rose from his seat and gave Dawn a small bow. "I think our time together is up, but Miss Dawn, it was wonderful meeting you. I look forward to that pizza."
((What? It is speed-dating, after all.))
"Same here," she said. "It was really nice to meet you! I'm going to have to ask Jacques why he never bothered introducing us--it's a real shame this didn't happen sooner."
((:D Quite true!))
"...So anyways, that's why systemd is the worst."
"Tom," said Talia, rolling her eyes, "you're acting like I don't know all of this already. Or like he cares."
"I don't", Dagger was quick to opine. "In case you thought I did." The surly Dragonborn trailed slightly, as if trying to distance himself.
"Fiiine... I'll just leave my fascinating technical trivia by the wayside, then." Tom sighed. "With my winning personality, I'm sure people will be throwing themselves at me..."
Talia grinned. "Oh, don't worry so much. I'm sure someone will want to hang with an absolute doofus."
"Well, I'm not that bad." Tom frowned. "No, my real question is, what the hell is Dagger doing here?"
"That's easy," said Dagger. "Free food. I got recruited out of college. Never broke the habit of not turning down a free meal."
((Yes, everyone but Thoth. I wanted to give them all a bit of time to shine, because he's the one who gets all the focus usually. :-(.
Anyways, responses to flirting:
Thoth - Depending on the mood, explain he's not interested, brush it off (possibly with a side of condescention), or find some way to mess with whoever's throwing it at him.
Tom - Seeing as we're talking about a guy, he's be horrifyingly embarrassed, awkward, and uncomfortable.
Talia - Go along with it. Possibly with some snark on the side. Unlikely to take it any further than that.
Dagger - Most likely, outright hostility, sarcasm, and general bitterness (contrast his usual apathetic grumpiness—wait, you haven't seen enough of him to do that yet). Even if he finds the guy attractive. Yes, he is into guys. Is this surprising? :-P))
"Hi!" she said to them excitedly.
"What'cha want?"
"and the message said this was a place to get to know people, so here I am."
She looked around the room. "Uh, this is the speed dating event, right?"
Dagger gave a noncomittal shrug. "And to what great personage do I owe the pleasure?"
"Who are you?" she asked. "And is there some title or greeting gesture or something you use I should know about? I don't think I've met anyone from your species before."
"That's what everyone calls me anyways. Can't be bothered to change that."
He shrugged. "If there are cutural traditions of my people, I wouldn't know. Most Dragonborn don't go to college. Or get recruited to play tech support in an interdimensional conflict with the forces of darkness, where darkness is represented by some of the most eye-gouging writing I have ever read, and given the imbeciles that I have met over the years, believe me, that is saying something."
"but here I am, and here you are."
"I'm think I'm going to be in one of the action departments, but I'm still in training, which apparently involves reading books and watching movies a bunch."
"What'd you study in college, Dagger?"
"And thus, it is my eternal destiny to deal with problems caused by the kind of dolts who live in a magical dreamworld where the laws of physics don't apply. Like my partner." He grimaced. "Programmers, the lot of them..."
"I did run the radios back on the Ambition, though, so I know a little bit about engineering. Got pretty good at dealing with aliens, bureaucrats, and alien bureaucrats." Farah sighed. "It was good practice for here, turns out."
"And here I thought humanity was bad. The flowers are even worse... Still beats my home, though."
"Then again, maybe I just haven't met the sort of humans who'd be running station offices yet." she added. "But, uh, what happened back home, if you don't mind sharing?"
"That would be none of your business, Farah," he spat. "Believe me, I don't need your help digging up painful memories."
"Sorry." she said.
"Most people certainly don't. And 's nothing personal against you."
"Want to go grab some food?" she offered, hoping to change the subject. "I'm a bit hungry."
He was dressed far more casually than usual, in dark jeans and a deep purple t-shirt of a soft fabric that clung pleasantly. His favored black military jacket was draped over the back of his chair.
He was glad this event was happening, even if not too many people had shown up yet. It felt nice, having a break from missions which was specifically set aside to talk to people. Who knew how many strangers would show up? He'd been an agent for five years, but that (unfortunately) didn't mean he'd managed to meet the whole of HQ's population. For one thing, HQ was big; for another, not everyone frequented the same places, or any places outside their own RCs. Moreover, new people were coming in all the time...
This was going to be fun. He could already tell. Who knew how many friends (and 'friends') he'd manage to make here? And he could get to know people he already knew a bit better--he could see a few of them in the room...
Yes, this was definitely going to be fun.
She was carrying a rather fruity drink.
"Mind if I join you?" she asked.
"Pull up a chair," he said, and offered his hand. "Jacques Bonnefoy, ESAS, and may I say, you look lovely?"
"And thanks." Farah continued, pulling out a chair to sit down in. "You look pretty good too."