Here, have some C-4, a sniper rifle and an elven bow (with arrows). Congratulations on surviving the terrible teens!
threatens Tyler with Dragon Halberd Put some Queen on or let me past so I can!
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY! by
on 2008-08-23 00:31:00 UTC
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Oh gawd, yes, that made me feel ill. by
on 2008-08-23 00:31:00 UTC
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More illogic; if they're both babies, why the fixation on breeding them already? Ew. (Even ferrets can take ONE heat period without dying.)
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Re: Indeed. by
on 2008-08-23 00:28:00 UTC
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Iruka seems to be as concerned about Naruto as he is in canon. Well, except for leaving him to be 'mated' to Sasuke against his will that is. Kakashi seems to be mostly in character as well.
I haven't read far enough to get a feel for other characters yet. Kurenai seems to mostly be in character though, but she hasn't appeared much.
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I'd like to add... by
on 2008-08-23 00:26:00 UTC
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paedophilia (the second chapter rape scene. Rape I can take, but the descriptions such as tiny baby penis make it worse than rape. The baby talk makes it worse too).
Incest
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Does the DORKS work to that extent, though? by
on 2008-08-23 00:26:00 UTC
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It does change the physical appearance, but I don't know if it'd change the stored gametes.
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Um... happy birthday to me? by
on 2008-08-23 00:18:00 UTC
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Yes, as it is past midnight here in rainy old England, I just thought I'd mention that it's my 20th birthday. Wow, that's scary... I'm no longer a teenager.
Anyway. Yep. Party in the Large Auditorium? The mini-Balrogs and my Agents helped set up. Drinks and nibbles all round, and if anyone's brave enough to argue with Tyler for control of the stereo, I left a huge selection of CDs next to it.
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Indeed. by
on 2008-08-23 00:09:00 UTC
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As they said in Kit and Kay Boodle (a weird but very funny in the "Plan Nine from Outer Space"-type way furry webcomic): "How does a feline explain having a lupine father?"
"The same way a murine daughter explains having a canine mother! You don't! You don't have to explain being furry, you just go with it!"
Incest doesn't bother me so much as long as they acknowledge that it IS incest, at least if the characters are aware they're related. Just completely disregarding the fact annoys me.
So, which do you think would be character replacements and which are just in dire need of exorcism and reconstructive surgery?
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*bashes head against wall* by
on 2008-08-23 00:04:00 UTC
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Sorry, the desk isn't enough this time.
I think in family terms they would be counted as cousins, but genetically they would be half-siblings. You'd have to ask someone who knows more about biology/genetics though. Still, how do you get a cat and a mouse hybrid from that close a genetic relation? Fandom is split about it though, I think. I normally stay well away from Hyugacest (and Uchihacest and Sandcest) fics though, so I wouldn't know. However you look at it, they're too closely related for me, personally, not to be squicked.
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*comes out of hiding to participate* by
on 2008-08-22 23:21:00 UTC
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This sounds cool! Fantasy parodies are really quite fun. offers up "Maxine" and "Sydney" Enixam and Yendys... Lotsa Xs and Ys make for good sorcerer names, perhaps?
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Good point. Wouldn't stop him offering. by
on 2008-08-22 22:55:00 UTC
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This is Drake, after all. But yes, we'll use in-vitro, like Mara and Isaiah did with the Sue's kids in "Your Unhappy Elladan" and what happened with that mpreg fic somewhere.
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Sorry, can I point out...? by
on 2008-08-22 22:50:00 UTC
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I don't know this canon, I freely admit, but I have to say you really should get in-vitro transportation, or contact Doc Fitz to transport the baby into Medical. I very much doubt that Upstairs will take a lenient view of Mpreg, even in a good cause, so Drake is right out, and it's usually a good idea for the baby to be moved into a mother of its own species...
I guess Medical have artifical wombs or something for babies that need it. I know I've heard of a case where it happened before...
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Sakura-bashing, needless violence ... by
on 2008-08-22 22:10:00 UTC
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Just plain creepiness (Naruto describing his first mating in babytalk is among the most vomit-inducing things I've ever seen short of "Cloud Mows The Lawn").
Misogyny ("submissive" critters automatically equal female?)
Multiple cases of biological improbability (ass-hymens, shapeshifting, etc).
Multiple cases of rape turning to love.
Illogic (if they're as smart as humans, wouldn't it come under anti-slavery laws if you're trying to keep them as pets? If Naruto's a girl now, why are they still calling him "he" even though he's pregnant and wearing frilly dresses? This is the furry Japanese equivalent of Little Miss Mary!)
Ripping all the characters who weren't replaced OOC.
And of course, annoying PPC agents and being Marty Stus.
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Yes, and is turning into a "full female" ... by
on 2008-08-22 22:05:00 UTC
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... by the power of Author Does Not Want To Imagine Cute Girl With Penis. (Though he has no problem doing so when it comes to Naruto, apparently ... no, Naruto-thing does not count as female. I refuse to let the abomination associate with my gender.)
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don;t forget by
on 2008-08-22 22:01:00 UTC
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supposedly hinata is a herm too. this author is werid.
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Chargelist by
on 2008-08-22 22:01:00 UTC
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Okay, time for the charge list
Deifnately biolgoical imporbabilities.
Mating amphianiban with a mamal and getting offspring.
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Kakashi/Iruka and Temari/Shikamaru, yes. by
on 2008-08-22 21:50:00 UTC
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Actually the other was Cat!Neji abusing Mouse!Hinata (if their fathers were twin brothers, wouldn't that make them half-siblings rather than just cousins? Eeh), and apparently Sakura/everyone according to the character-bashing bits.
So, which should be exorcised and which are character replacements, and of the character replacements, which should be killed and which should be adopted? Naruto-thing and Sasuke-thing need to die. Barbecue time? I think the raccoon-thing and tadpole-thing that appear at the end could be adopted, and I think Naruto-thing is pregnant at the end so an emergency in vitro transportation may be necessary (unless Drake's willing to carry it for a while ... well, Skyfire and Naomi probably wouldn't be).
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Wait! What? by
on 2008-08-22 21:34:00 UTC
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He/she/it made Lee into a frog hybrid? WTF!?!? Actually, I could probably see that given how he dresses in canon. Let's try that again.
Ahem.
They made Lee be submissive to GAARA? Has this person watched the series/read the manga at all? I find it hard to believe that they have.
I have nothing against the Gaara/Lee pairing at all, when they are both human and are in an equal relationship not the messed up dom-rapes-sub-and-sub-isn't-allowed-to-complain parody that is presented here.
Let me guess at other pairings in this. Temari/Shikamaru and Neji/Tenten (or Neji/Shikamaru and Temari/Tenten if there's no such thing as a het pairing in this). Kiba/Hinata, Asuma/Kurenai, Kakashi/Iruka, Tsunade/Jiraiya. Am I right?
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This sounds hilarious. by
on 2008-08-22 21:33:00 UTC
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Names, names....
Nwot, the largest city in the land.
Siloportem, a small town.
Rotcod, the healer.
Yma, the friendly, annoying blonde tagalong.
Leumas, the stoic, mysterious hunter that only appears when the heroes are about to die.
Nerak, a cheery innkeeper.
Nwahs, a retired sergent.
(Feel free to change them.)
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My immediate thought is ... by
on 2008-08-22 20:12:00 UTC
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... well, remember where the plothole was with Wangsty!Pregnant!Mariel Sue?
But no, I don't think prising full-sized humans out of a kitten's biologically implausible orifices is the way to go. That's too disgusting even for me.
We might want to save Gaara and Rock Lee's offspring as well - raccoon/frog/human hybrids would make some interesting playmates for Moses Taggson ...
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Offering Names by
on 2008-08-22 19:37:00 UTC
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I am offering Idna and Yennj.
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neat by
on 2008-08-22 19:20:00 UTC
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WEll, we coudl use a second set of eyes to help us with the charge list.
any idea what ot do with the other animal pet main characte4rs?
yeah, can;t forget the sexy no justu form. that is interesting move, no?
WEll, some we will ahve ot ecorcise, and others we deifnately have ot kill. just dont; knwo wehr eht ereal naturo adn suaske woudl eb hiding though.
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Just the one by
on 2008-08-22 19:15:00 UTC
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I didn't dare look at any more. glugs bleepka
According to Wikipedia, rutting only happens in antlered members of the ungulate family (deer, sheep, antelope etc). Naruto seems to be some kind of human/cat/kyubi hybrid.
Herm!Naruto is, ugh! He's a male in canon(or Sai would have said something already)and so he should stay that way in fanfiction. Unless you're writing a genderswap AU that is. Or he's in his Sexy Jutsu form.
It says that Iruka is a school teacher, so maybe the author got suitcase and briefcase mixed up somehow. It makes an amusing mental image though.
Drowning works well for Naruto and Sasuke, as you suggested before. I don't know about the other characters though, since there's not enough of them in the first chapter to tell.
Pre-timeskip Sakura was pretty strong, if you count the fillers as canon. Before Sasuke left she ripped the mast off a boat and used it as a weapon.