Subject: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Author:
Posted on: 2008-08-23 00:31:00 UTC
Here, have some C-4, a sniper rifle and an elven bow (with arrows). Congratulations on surviving the terrible teens!
threatens Tyler with Dragon Halberd Put some Queen on or let me past so I can!
Yes, as it is past midnight here in rainy old England, I just thought I'd mention that it's my 20th birthday. Wow, that's scary... I'm no longer a teenager.
Anyway. Yep. Party in the Large Auditorium? The mini-Balrogs and my Agents helped set up. Drinks and nibbles all round, and if anyone's brave enough to argue with Tyler for control of the stereo, I left a huge selection of CDs next to it.
Happy birthday even though it isn't anymore!
A small temporal plot hole opens up in front of you and a gaily wrapped package slightly too large for the hole pops out, rather like a cork from a bottle. A large tag on the package says "Happy Birthday from Katty" with "and Ace!" squeezed in underneath in a different hand. Another tag, this one somewhat more ominous looking, says "Explosives. Protect from heat, impact, electrical shock, and warp zones."
If you unwrap it (carefully) you'll find a case of 12 petards. Have fun hoisting Sues!
A lone agent walked into the echoing auditorium. "Hello? There was a birthday here?" She was a day late. She scrounged in the corners for bits of cake, then set down the bag of holding she was carrying. "I'll just leave this for next year..." She wandered out again.
"Wrong auditorium," she added. "The party's not quite finished yet, we were just clearing up, if you want to come and have a couple of drinks." She led the agent along to the right room, where a few agents and a lot of mini-Balrogs were clearing up the aftermath.
She ran back to the bag and grabbed it. "It's a bag of holding. To hold all you other presents. And stuff." She walked off to the other auditorium with Cassie.
Cassie wased no time in testing out just how easy it was to fit all her presents in. "This is pretty nifty. Oh, graba drink. We've got plenty left."
Here! Have these Fang syringes I just made. Easy to carry, light, and looks just like a Fountain pen save for the needle sticking out. With a little you can inject poison into your enemies with a single stab from The tip.
I made them myself.
Deryn came in first, humming something or other that didn't really go with the music playing at the moment. This didn't seem to bother her, however, as she'd spotted the food and would probably have gone for it if Leas hadn't grabbed her collar with the hand not holding the present. "Greet the birthday girl first," he told her firmly.
Deryn rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay," she said. "You see her anywhere?"
"You've got your own eyes," Leas pointed out, but looked anyway. "Ah, there she is! Cassie!" he called, waving and trying to subtly nudge Deryn in a Cassie-wards direction.
"Oh, hi!" she called back, heading over to them. "So how are you two getting on?"
She led them over to the row of tables where the food and drinks were stacked. "Help yourselves, there's plenty."
She grinned at them sheepishly as a young man arrived and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You two have met Plat, haven't you?"
"The missions we've been getting have been all right so far- touch wood-" he knocked on the table- "and the Minis haven't destroyed too much lately. A dedicated corner was definitely a good idea." He paused, and gave Cassie something of a worried look. "Er, you know we're not like that, don't you?"
Deryn looked up from dithering over the jelly beans and poked him. "Well, you can't blame people, we didn't get out that much back when," she said. "And, well" She shrugged, and grinned at Plat. "I've met him. Don't think Leas has. Good to see you again!"
"Pleasure to meet you," Leas said, offering a hand to Plat. "Oh, and-" He held out the present to Cassie. "It's not dangerous, I promise," he said, and added as Deryn launched into Happy Birthday (except in German), "though Deryn's singing might be."
(I've got a question I was going through a couple of missions written by a guy I knew on a board separate to the PPC Board, and thinking about putting up pages for the Agents, I wondered about names- one's all right, I think, but the other's another Tyler. Not sure quite what to do there. I'd like to hear your thoughts, if that's all right.)
"Thanks very much. I do know you're not like me and Plat-" She rolled her eyes as Plat kissed her on the cheek and dashed off. "Probably wants to check his Pokemon aren't causing any trouble. And don't worry about the singing. I have a little sister who's convinced she's the next Beyonce and a brother who wants to be a rapper. Makes a bloody racket when they're both trying to perform."
She shrugged. "At least I get to enjoy myself here."
(Just_theDoctor wrote an Agent Tyler just after I wrote mine. We agreed that they'd be distinguished by appearance and name. My Tyler's a very pale man with white hair, who looks like he's in his early thirties and has no surname. He runs the Makes-Things Fund For Abused Technology, or MTFFAT. The Doc's Tyler is a 16-year-old with blond hair, who has the surname Reynolds and works in the Department of Implausible Crossovers.)
"It's not that she's really bad," he admitted. "But she's off-key- Deryn, stop that!- and it's bad enough in German."
"Hey, there're worse songs I could pull out," Deryn pointed out, handing Leas a plate. "Not while the music's on, though, and not while it's your birthday. It'd be a shame to ruin that."
(Okay. I just wonder about the arrangements for the page names, since this Tyler doesn't seem to have a last name. He's pretty distinctive, though- got turned into a Pak- Nixen's Known Space verse, apparently; I'm not personally familiar with it- and Medical couldn't reverse it, so I doubt anyone'd mistake them on sight.)
"Er. English, I meant," Leas said, looking haunted.
Deryn shoved an iced biscuit at him before he said anything else he'd regret.
"I've always wondered who invented that song. Probably the Legal Department or something, I wouldn't be surprised." She looked over at the annoyed-looking group around the stereo, which began to break up as Tyler zoomed out of the door.
"Figured he wouldn't stay long," she grinned. "Well the music's been sorted now, so anybody want a dance?" She started moving toward the poeple who were more than a little tipsy already and more or less wobbling in time to the strains of "I Want To Break Free".
"Wouldn't surprise me either," he said. "Pretty poor melody that's got. The songs you sing around the blowing the candles out bit are a lot nicer."
"I was convinced it was 'sausages on the bus' when I was little," Deryn remarked. She popped a jelly baby into her mouth and said, "Sounds good. I mean, I don't dance well- aside from the box move, I've forgotten anything school taught me about dancing- but I like it."
"Just don't do it with your mouth full," Leas muttered, and followed Deryn out to the dance area- after she'd poked her tongue out at him, of course.
throws chocolate confetti and fireworks WOOT! One more year and you-- oh, wait. England. Lucky dog.
Anywho, Happy Birthday! (hey, it's my littlest brother's birthday too!) Have a good year, Cassie! Many happy returns!
Although I'm not convinced that throwing fireworks is a good idea.
Happy Birthday! Have a Mary Sue:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2288976/1/Voldemorts_Daughter (assuming this one isn't too short or hasn't already been PPCed)
ps. Fynn informs me that it is not within the PPC etiquette to give Sues as gifts, so I apologise in advance to any hardline PPCers I may have offended.
I think I'll give her to the mini-Balrogs as a plaything. I do love waching them slowly incinerate Sues alive. It's very cathartic.
sprays you with champagne PARTY!
(Yeah; creepy feeling, isn't it? Not being a teenager anymore. It's just... you've been one so long that it doesn't feel right anymore.)
(Yes it is. Still getting used to it.)
It's quite a strange thing, really. Hope your clothes don't stain! ;p
pops out of a cake!
Happy birthday, sweetie!
I'm sure that cake was too small do fit a human being inside... hugs Aw, never mind about that! Thank you!
Georgia happily skipped into the Large Auditorium, a chocolate cake in her hands. "Happy Birthday, Cassie! Where do I put this?"
Behind her, Kumori followed at a more sedate pace. This was partly due to the fact that she would never be caught skipping anywhere but mostly due to the huge, lavender bush and pot plant in her arms. Her muffled voice was heard, "And where the hell do I put this?"
where a goodly and decidedly eclectic array of gifts were displayed. You can just pop them on here, if you like... er, hi, Kumori..." She hastily checked for any Clbr**n-reading Agents nearby and added, "Maybe you could put those plants round behind with the polar bear? I'm not sure who else is here, and I don't want anyone to start having flashbacks." She neglected to mention that while she loved the scent of lavender, she was also none too fond of the colour.
"Ah, I get it," Kumori smirked, "Wusses. Still don't get why a flower or a colour sends them into hysterics and I read the MST!" She set the lavender down behind the bear as instructed and headed over to the food, "I almost hope you're serving vanilla icecream."
Georgia smiled weakly, "Happy Birthday, Cass. I'm gonna go keep an eye on her before she gets in a fight!" That said, she chased after her partner.
She wasn't too pleased at the mention of vanilla ice-cream, but shrugged. She knew for a fact she'd instructed the others specifically not to bring any along.
Picking up a Sonic Screwdriver and sipping it appreciatively, she wandered around the auditorium, looking for people she knew.
I gift thee with...ehm...well, a waffle iron. Because waffle irons rule. And because who knows when you'll need one?
Also, have some fine Belgian chocolate and a stuffed polar bear. nodnod
Waffle irons are useful indeed!
Ooooh, chocolate... resists temptation to nom it all and shares instead
That stuffed polar bear should come in very handy for scaring my brother.
Hope your birthday is full of wonderful things :)
What a milestone. : ) Hope you have/had/will have an awesome day - tenses with time zones are confusing.
Hmmm... well, actually, I'm happy with the music. No need to smack anyone around to attempt to control the stereo. That may be subject to change, though... ; )
Ooh, nibbles. wanders off
I'd have to go look it up. But now I have a frame of reference... oh, hang on. I know I'm Pacific, which I think is GMT-8, which means you're 8 hours ahead of me. Yay! Go me. I have skills.
Well, at this point it's all past tense anyway. :D
In honour of the day, you don't get picked to babysit the M-kids!
(ohhh, a challenge. can;t reist)
DRake takes his spork railgun adn points it at Tyler.
"I ave control of the stereo now, okay?"
Naomi sighs and hands over some bleppka to Cassie.
Put the railgun down, you nutjob.
"I'm a fox, not a nutjob."
*points railgun at ansela
Your species doesn't stop you from being a nutjob. Wait, how the heck did you manage to aim that over your shoulder? activates Protect from Ranged prayer Hope this works.
"It doesnt' and dont; worry. Naomi told me to unload this thing."
points it skywwards and pulsl the trigger
KRACCCKKKK
blows a blow in teh ceiling and drake looks sheepish., then gets flattened by ta backpack to the head.
"DRAKE!!!!!! I TOLD OYU TO UN L
UNLOAD IT , YOU IDIOT!"
I take that back. You're not a nutjob...you're completely bloody psycho.
"Of course he's phsyco. he's in the PPC, isn't he? and I';m sorry about drake. He's still a three year odl mentally. I 'm soure that Landburm adn FOxglvoe can tell you about it. As can Stormsong and Skyfire.
sings Forever Young at you
In fact, I might go argue with Tyler. takes some Bob Dylan and Queen out of her Jacket -- the Dylan for "Forever Young", the Queen because she knows Cassie likes it This will be interesting!
Whaaat? It's not a proper party without inappropriate large mammals.
Happy Birthday, Cassie!
Here, have some C-4, a sniper rifle and an elven bow (with arrows). Congratulations on surviving the terrible teens!
threatens Tyler with Dragon Halberd Put some Queen on or let me past so I can!
Oooh... pretty, dangerous thingies...
puts them on a chair carefully for later
Very well! puts on a Queen CD
and hands Tyler another CD, and says: Would you put this on? Only it's... well, it fits. Please?
takes proffered CDs However, I will willingly put these on once Ansela's music has finished. Thank you, Miss...?
Oh, of course. We'd hate to get in trouble with the Ansela. remembers, belatedly, the second thing he said I'm Ciri. Hi.
My name is Tyler. And... looks around nervously I do not know if you have noticed, but Miss Ansela is rather hasty and very quick with her weapons. I am not skilled in weaponcraft, so I thought it best to refrain from arguing with her.
does a double-take Oh, I'm sorry. I always forget it's a polite thing. Thank you, in that case. grins, but quickly changes the subject
Yes, I noticed that about Ansela. So. Wouldn't that qualify as stock description for an Assassin, though, hasty and quick with weapons?
But I see what you mean. The weaponcraft would automatically make her a Scary People. speculatively She'd get in trouble if she attempted to apply said weaponcraft to anyone here, though, I think...
Drake and her are arguing, or were aruging. I mean, can you bvelieve my partner tried to pull a railgun on Tyler here...
realizes that tyler is there.
Oh sorry about my fgoxxy partner. He was a CAF that turned humanoid, and is still mentally 3 years old. COnfsuing, yes, I know.
Do not worry about it. I am sure that it was an honest mistake... notices several people approaching with rather angry expressions Ah... I think I had best depart. My work here at HQ has made me a goodly number of enemies.
heads out the door rather quickly