Subject: Might as well run some of my own, so:
Posted on: 2023-04-30 04:42:19 UTC

Jiwon: Wait, are we doing this together?

Charlie: Yup! Faster that way.

Jiwon: Fair enough.

Part I: Let's Start at the Beginning…

What's your name?

C: Charlie!

J: Jiwon Kim.

Give me your full name…

J: Um… I just told you?

C: No idea! I like the sound of Charcoal Briquette, though. Flows nice.

Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?

J: I don’t, no.

C: Yep, Charlie! Got it from a wizard friend.

What species are you?

J: I’m a gumiho. Please don’t look that up if you don’t know.

C: What for? Not like they’re raunchy sorts, yeah?

J: I mean, they’re not? I just… I just don’t want the actual reputation they have.

C: Eh, alrighty. (They turn back to the interviewer.) Tabaxi!

Where/when were you born?

J: Korea, 200…3? I think that’s right. Not World One, to be clear.

C: Waterdeep, mate! Fancy city, nice place to visit.

I see. And that would make your age...?

J: Nineteen. I hate time.

C: I’d tell you if I knew!

Okay, now… are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

C: Alignment says Chaotic Good, but I'm not a big alignment fellow. Feels kinda binding.

J: I don’t think I’m evil exactly, but it doesn’t feel right to say I’m good. I’m not a hero. This job isn’t hero work, and it feels awful sometimes. I… I don’t know?

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself…

How would you describe your personality?

J: I can’t answer that with, like, any sort of confidence.

C: I’m Charlie! That work for you?

Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

C: Ooh, give me all the pressure! I can take it!

J: No.

Do you like to read?

J: When there’s a good book, sure.

C: I just do it for the job. Reading’s hard and takes a while, y’know?

Favorite color?

J: Maybe cream? One of the softer ones.

C: Can’t choose, there’s so many! Oh, maybe Urple! That one’s funny.

Do you get along with others?

C: Lots!

J: I prefer not to interact with others if it can be helped.

Do you have any enemies?

C: Nope, they’re all dead or gone!

J: Do violent Suvians count? If not, uh… I don’t want to name names, but there’s a few people that come to mind.

How about friends?

J: Charlie, for one. Um. Give me a second, I’m sure there’s more…

C: Aw, thanks! I like you too! (They look back to the interviewer.) But yeah, I’ve got lots of friends! The folk around here are nice and chatty.

Are you patient?

J: I like to think that I am? But, uh, probably not.

C: This isn't Medical, and I’m not hurt, so not yet!

Part III: Hypothetically…

Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

J: I can already transform into a human - well, mostly - so I think I’m good for shapes, thanks.

C: A lich! Eternal life means more time to make folks happy!

One of your enemies just complimented you. Response?

J: I can’t picture that at all, to be honest.

C: Not an enemy anymore, so yay!

One of your friends just insulted you. Response?

C: Eh, I’m sure it’d be fine! I’m used to it, anyway!

J: …I don’t want to think about that.

If you could change anything about yourself…

J: Well, I’ve considered messing with my human shape a few times - there’s a few, uh, tweaks I have in mind, even if they might not be permanent.

C: (They shrug.) Just a longer life, really!

About your home…

C: I died there! Adventurer’s life for ya. Oh, you meant what I would change about it? Eh, nothing much. Don’t think I’d make a good god.

J: I wish I could be back there.

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

What're your parents like?

J: Um… normal? I think? Well-off enough to keep me sheltered.

C: One’s a cultist, one’s a bard! Got the best of both worlds, me!

Do you have any siblings?

J: One, I think. Nicole went off to the Americas before I… um. Ended up here. Next question, please?

C: Nope.

What's your occupation?

J: You… you do know where you are, right?

C: Division of Floaters! (They grab Jiwon by the shoulder and pull him close.) We’re partners in crime!

I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

C: Yes!

J: I’m considering a change of Departments.

Are you seeing/dating anyone?

J: I - no!

C: I can see you just fine, don’t worry.

Thinking about getting engaged, married, other

J: Not for a very long time, no.

C: Never really was into that, but thanks!

Tell us your biggest secret.

J: That is a very uncomfortable question.

C: Sorry, can’t say! Would remove the secret-ness from secrets, yeah?

Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

C: Don’t think I have one!

J: …I don’t know you well enough to say.

Favorite food?

C: Cheese! All the cheese.

J: Sushi. Nothing too specific, to be honest.

Favorite drink?

C: Milk! Dairy’s dairy.

J: Are you familiar with, uh… (He pauses to adjust his Universal Translator collar.) 식혜? That didn’t come out right, did it?

Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.

J: I wish I could think of one.

C: I learned the recipe for a potion of lichdom the other day! Medical workers know lots of funny things.

Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

C: Can’t think of any!

J: I’ll pass.

If you didn't answer Questions 28 and/or 32, tell me why.

C: I answered both, yeah?

J: They're a bit, uh… personal. For something like this.

Is that a good reason?

J: I… you know what? Yes, yes it is! (He huffs, crosses his arms, and looks away.)

C: What he said!

Part V: Breaking the Fourth Wall For these next few questions, I'll briefly remove the fourth wall between your world and your creator's. Try to remain calm.

Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you're actually a character?

J: What does that mean?

C: I already am one!

Now the fourth wall's gone. Response?

C: Don’t see a change!

J: …Eyes.

This is your creator's world. What's the first thing you notice?

C: Looks like New Caledonia! Think this place was inspired by it?

J: It doesn’t look like Heaven.

You just met your creator! First impression of them?

C: Looks fine to me!

J: Are you saying this is the face of God? I’m… I have a hard time believing that, to be honest.

Okay, let's put the fourth wall back. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?

C: Eh, pretty fine.

J: (Jiwon says nothing, staring blankly at the interview desk.)

Part VI: Closing

Are you satisfied with your life?

J: No.

C: Yep!

Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.

C: Feel like doing this, does that count?

J: I’m hoping to figure out what I want to be in this place. Maybe decide if… never mind.

Any hobbies?

C: (They heft the mandola in their lap.) Music! Love it, lifeblood of the universe and gateway to magic and all that.

J: Does playing video games count?

Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me…

C: Wished for cheese! Brie rind, specifically!

J: I… I kind of wish I could go back home.

How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?

C: I think it’s a good wish! Cheese is good, right?

J: Ah, mine is definitely selfish. I’m not going to pretend it’s not.

Have you been honest with these questions?

C: You’ll never know!

J: What… yeah, what they said.

Your personal quote?

J: Wait, what?

C: We were supposed to have those?

Do you like change?

J: Not much?

C: Depends on the change!

J: …I probably should have said that.

What's your most valued possession?

C: (They tap their mandola with a claw.) Prolly this guy!

J: I don’t know. Maybe just my body? That, uh, probably came out wrong.

Anything else you feel like sharing?

J: Absolutely not.

C: So much to say, so little time! You can come ask me later if you want! I’ll be in RC #724.

J: Why did you tell them that.

Last question! ...yup, that's it! How do you feel?

C: I feel great, thanks!

J: Please don’t take up Charlie’s offer.

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