Subject: Yinz'r's Response (I might add Part VI later)
Posted on: 2023-04-29 17:21:12 UTC

Part I

What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)

I'm an Argonian vampire. What, the scales and don't give it away?

Where/when were you born?

I was hatched in Black Marsh, about 20 years ago.

Okay, now...are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

I was the Dragonborn back home, and I work with Beksis to save the multiverse now. I'm a good guy. The vampirism just means I can do this forever.

How would you describe your personality?

I am very outgoing and friendly. You have to ask questions to learn about any quests, after all; the same way you're doing now.

Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

Normally, I would ask what kind of question that is for someone who can warp reality with a word. Here, though, I've lost that power, and all the swordplay I know simply doesn't work here. I'm told that that's because of Tamriel being in a video game with exaggerated movements. I need to relearn how to handle pressure or we'll both get caught by a Sue or Wraith.

Do you like to read?

Absolutely. History, fiction, magical theory, I love it all... except for anything involving a maid.

Favorite color?

Dark red. That was true even before becoming a vampire.

Do you get along with others?

I think I can get along with almost anyone.

Do you have any enemies?

I wouldn't say "enemies." There are a few people I don't like, but most of them are back in Cyrodiil.

How about friends?

Not close ones. It was hard to relate to people back in Skyrim for a few reasons, and missions keep me busy here.

Are you patient?

No. Patience is something I need to work on.

Part III

Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

I haven't thought about it. I wouldn't be a dragon, though; flying isn't a good enough trade since I'd be too big to fit through doors.

If you could change anything about yourself...

I would be better at fighting. Sure, the PPC has a training room, but it takes time to get skilled on your own. I wish I could just trade gold for experience again.

About your home...

I wish it were possible to show Ulfric the dossier the Thalmor kept on him and convince him to call off the civil war. Having two people who know the Thu'um, and the tactical abilities of the Empire, would make driving the Aldmeri Dominion away a matter of time.

Part III

What're your parents like?

It's a funny thing, actually. Since joining the PPC, all my memories of home are... foggy. Indistinct. I think it's because Bethesda hasn't described what Black Marsh and its people are actually like.

Do you have any siblings?


What's your occupation?

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a flash patch to the arm. Sorry, I had to.

I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

I hate it. I hate waiting for description, I hate the bodily fluids, and I hate the pheromones. It all makes me ill. I keep trying to get transferred to Mary Sues or ESAS, but I think they keep losing the paperwork.

Are you seeing/dating anyone?

... I think my work has ruined the appeal of romance for the rest of eternity.

Thinking about getting engaged, married, other?

Can we be done talking about this yet?

Tell us your biggest secret.

You know I became a vampire by choice. My secret is that I don't regret a single part of it. Not the way the sun burns, not the threat of Turn Undead spells, not even the endless thirst for fresh blood. I would never consider going back to being mortal.

Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

Death, but at the same time, there's nothing more exhilarating than facing that fear.

Favorite food?

Venison stew. I have to hand it to the Nords on that one.

Favorite drink?

Good one.

Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.

Pickpocketing Brynjolf twice without him noticing. He spent hours looking for that potion before I put it back on his belt.

Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

Next question.

If you didn't answer Questions 28 and/or 32, tell me why.

Nothing that embarrassing has happened to me. I thought skipping the question would add more intrigue, but I guess that didn't work.

Is that a good reason?

No, but I'll have to embarrass myself to come up with a better one, and I do enough of that at work.

Part V

Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you're actually a character?

I know that already, and it was a relief. My author abandoned his fic, leaving me to wander a blank void until the plothole led to the PPC.

[Skipping the rest of this section because if Yinz'r ever found me, he would kill me for doing that to him.]

Part VI

Are you satisfied with your life?

No, I'm not. I was supposed to be a legendary hero, a master of every skill, the most powerful entity to be on this plane since the Oblivion Crisis. Now? Now I'm just another Agent working mission after mission, trying to keep my sanity. There's no other choice, though; that abandoned fic is the only home I have to go back to, and that doesn't count.

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