1. What's your name?
   Peregrin

2. Give me your full name...
   Fraa Peregrin of Savant Rambraf's ... wait, no, hold on, Agent Peregrin of the Department of Mary Sues, Protectors of the Plot Continuum

3. Do you have a nickname?
   Not currently.
   3b. Not currently?
   Well, no one around here has any reason to call me Fraa Singularity, either on account of my line of work or because I had a tendency to end up with things - mostly notes and data - that I was not, strictly speaking, supposed to have.

4. What species are you?
   I am a human from Arbe, in the Anathem continuum. and yes, the planet is relevant, nested multiverses and all

5. Moving on, where/when were you born?
   Where, I could not exactly say, there was no record, though I grew up in Savant Rambraf's and that is the only home I know. As to when ... well, I am afraid I do not currently remember the exact year - somewhere in the 21st century AR, I believe.

6. I see, and that would make your age ...?
   Oh, two hundred forty-something. We did not pay terribly close attention to ages.

7. Okay, now ... are you a good guy or a bad guy?
   Well, that entirely depends on who you ask. I, personally, think I am doing more good than not, though if you asked the Warden Regulant, for instance, you would probably be told that I am a rather gifted researcher but also a menace to good order. So, really, I would say your question is ill-posed.

8. How would you describe your personality?
   Ah, difficult questions. Well, the first answers that come to mind are that I am curious, perhaps somewhat flighty, and rather opposed to hierarchy. Which, now that I have said it, reminds me of cats. So perhaps my personality is like a cat's, with more of an obsession with knowledge and learning the truth of the universe added in.

9. Would you say you are someone who can handle pressure?
   Hm ... well, I can manage stressful situations - all these missions I go on, for instance - but they are not something I actively go seeking out.

10. Do you like to read?
    Oh, absolutely. And I am quite fortunate that the librarians here do not tend to pull in stray avout to copy whatever they came to read up on.

11. Favorite color?
    Hm ... I ... black. Well, not black, exactly, but the colors of a clear night sky coming in to view.

12. Do you get along well with others?
    I do my best to, though some people are, honestly, irritating to interact with.

13. Do you have any enemies?
    Hm ... "enemy" is a rather strong characterization. I have had some long-standing rivalries - Suur Ala, for instance, we seem to get into an argument about the information density of black hole emissions every time we meet, and there are hierarchs who still dislike me - well, they have a point, I never quite stopped breaking rules here and there, I just got subtle about it - but not enemies. And out here ... unless Mary Sues count because of the general conflict, not particularly.

14. How about friends?
    Well, I would not bore you with the long series of people I often ate and collaborated with over the years, but, in the PPC ... Technician Tomash, my former partner, and the Serendipities - they are wonderful conversation when we get a chance to talk, which is less often than I would like these days.

15. Are you patient?
    Yes and no. There is some level of patience needed in my line of work - and on missions - but I have never been one for waiting for artificial barriers to resolve themselves when I can do something about them.

16. Suppose that you could become any creature you know of? What would you pick, and why?
    If we define creature broadly, one of any number of gods. Failing that .... Culture GSV or a TARDIS or the like, but, failing all that, with what I am currently working on - a Flower, to get their intuitive understanding of Headquarters and the multiverse.

17. One of your enemies in question 13 has complemented you. Response?
    Given the likely context, acknowledge that they saw I had a point and move to another part of the discussion. Or simply thank them.

18. One of your friends in question 14 has insulted you. Response?
    Depends on the insult, but, in general, we are likely debating something or somewhat drunk, and so I would not be particularly offended.

19. If you could change anything about yourself ...
    A more accurate - and extensive - memory, better calculation abilities ... though I suppose we have computers for that here, and not needing sleep.

20. About your home...
    About my Response Center? The clock really could use some more information. And the console could be quieter. As to my former home ... tear down the walls, take back the particle accelerators, and drag everyone into an age of technological sophistication. So a much more aggressive ending than canon.

21. What're your parents like?
    I do not know.

22. Do you have any siblings?
    I also do not know.

23. What's your occupation?
    Studying the structure of the multiverse, with particular reference to data generated by PPC Headquarters and its multi-dimensional structure ... oh and I suppose I also kill Mary Sues.

24. I see. That's a good job to have. Do you like it?
    I do! Falling into Headquarters - the initial oxygen compatibility problems aside - was the best thing to happen to my research career since that one comet. The place is fascinating!

25. Are you seeing/dating anyone?
    Oh, no, not these days. It has been quite some time since I considered that sort of thing.

26. Thinking about getting engaged, married, other?
    Oh, no, I am quite busy as it is.

27. Tell us your biggest secret.
    Oh, no, I will not be explaining how to get into that secluded alcove near the beehives anywhere published. Someone who can fix that problem might see it.

28. Your worst fear? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.
    Fires.

29. Favorite food?
    There really is something to be said for fresh bread, in that it is both testy and can be eaten rather quickly?

30. Favorite drink?
    Either coffee or one of the better Vrone wines.

31. Tell us one thing you're most proud of.
    Spotting the regularities in what looked like a rather noisy comet trail, and thus locating a black hole that hadn't been recorded before, as far as anyone knew!

32. Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one either.
    Probably the number of times I have forgotten about dinner. Or breakfast. Or, really, come to think of it, that I almost forgot about my own Eliger ... which was both funny and not that irregular.

33. [he did answer the explicitly skippable questions, omitted]

34. [similarly]

35. Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you are a character?
    Well, it is an extremely likely position for me to be in, not to mention that my universe is fictional somewhere else ... it would be nice to find out, yes.

36. There! Now the fourth wall's gone. Response?
    Oh, fascinating! I think ... is that my response being built up in real time? Or is "recorded" more accurate? Really, this raises a lot of questions ...
    Tomash: That I can't answer. The philosophy of the multiverse is more your field than mine, honestly.

37. This is your creator's world. What's the first thing you notice?
    Well, this certainly explains how some of the choices made in technology here went the way they did, and so that is evidence for the theory that the PPC spawned off of World One. Come to think of it, can I check ...?
    Tomash: Yes, but it won't be canon.
    Peregrin: That's quite unfortunate, quite unfortunate. But yes, you have quite a nice world.

38. You just met your creator! First impressions?
    He seems like a sensible young man. I am curious about how he ended up as my author, though.
    [...] Ah, I see. My condolences on the failed research program, they happen to the best of us.

39. Ok, let's put the fourth wall back. That wasn't so bad, was it?
    I would be most grateful if you would remove it again. I have several experiments I would like to run.

40. Are you satisfied with your life?
    Some occasional annoyances around missions or my partner - or how maddening Headquarters can be - aside, yes, I quite like my life right now.

41. Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.
    Understand the worlds I have found myself in. It is not possible, realistically, especially since the methods of gaining immortality are rather strictly controlled here and it is possible that even that would not be enough, but ... I must make the attempt.

42. Any hobbies?
    I have found myself enjoying chess recently...

43. Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me
    A definitive account of the origins and core laws of the multiverse in a form I can understand - or at least as close to that as is possible.

44. How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?
    Somewhat selfish, in that I want to know that, but not entirely, because quite a lot of people also want this information and now they will have it.

45. Have you been honest with these questions?
    Yes.

46. Do you have a personal quote?
    There are far too many sayings I agree with, so, ... I do not have a clear answer to this question.

47. Do you like change?
    Change is what makes life interesting, so yes. Yes I do.

48. What's your most valued possession?
    Good question. I think the bolt, sphere, and cord I came here with - and, to some extent, the notes I was holding - since they are both my only true possessions from home and thus a connection to it and because I grew rather attached to them over the centuries.

49. Anything else you feel like sharing?
    Well, since you asked [long rambly science ramble elided for the reader's sanity].

50. Last question! ...Yup, that's it! How do you feel?
    This was quite an interesting conversation, thank you! I should ... right, I should go eat.

Jiwon: Wait, are we doing this together?

Charlie: Yup! Faster that way.

Jiwon: Fair enough.

---

Part I: Let's Start at the Beginning…

What's your name?

C: Charlie!

J: Jiwon Kim.

Give me your full name…

J: Um… I just told you?

C: No idea! I like the sound of Charcoal Briquette, though. Flows nice.

Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?

J: I don’t, no.

C: Yep, Charlie! Got it from a wizard friend.

What species are you?

J: I’m a gumiho. Please don’t look that up if you don’t know.

C: What for? Not like they’re raunchy sorts, yeah?

J: I mean, they’re not? I just… I just don’t want the actual reputation they have.

C: Eh, alrighty. (They turn back to the interviewer.) Tabaxi!

Where/when were you born?

J: Korea, 200…3? I think that’s right. Not World One, to be clear.

C: Waterdeep, mate! Fancy city, nice place to visit.

I see. And that would make your age...?

J: Nineteen. I hate time.

C: I’d tell you if I knew!

Okay, now… are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

C: Alignment says Chaotic Good, but I'm not a big alignment fellow. Feels kinda binding.

J: I don’t think I’m evil exactly, but it doesn’t feel right to say I’m good. I’m not a hero. This job isn’t hero work, and it feels awful sometimes. I… I don’t know?

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself…

How would you describe your personality?

J: I can’t answer that with, like, any sort of confidence.

C: I’m Charlie! That work for you?

Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

C: Ooh, give me all the pressure! I can take it!

J: No.

Do you like to read?

J: When there’s a good book, sure.

C: I just do it for the job. Reading’s hard and takes a while, y’know?

Favorite color?

J: Maybe cream? One of the softer ones.

C: Can’t choose, there’s so many! Oh, maybe Urple! That one’s funny.

Do you get along with others?

C: Lots!

J: I prefer not to interact with others if it can be helped.

Do you have any enemies?

C: Nope, they’re all dead or gone!

J: Do violent Suvians count? If not, uh… I don’t want to name names, but there’s a few people that come to mind.

How about friends?

J: Charlie, for one. Um. Give me a second, I’m sure there’s more…

C: Aw, thanks! I like you too! (They look back to the interviewer.) But yeah, I’ve got lots of friends! The folk around here are nice and chatty.

Are you patient?

J: I like to think that I am? But, uh, probably not.

C: This isn't Medical, and I’m not hurt, so not yet!

Part III: Hypothetically…

Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

J: I can already transform into a human - well, mostly - so I think I’m good for shapes, thanks.

C: A lich! Eternal life means more time to make folks happy!

One of your enemies just complimented you. Response?

J: I can’t picture that at all, to be honest.

C: Not an enemy anymore, so yay!

One of your friends just insulted you. Response?

C: Eh, I’m sure it’d be fine! I’m used to it, anyway!

J: …I don’t want to think about that.

If you could change anything about yourself…

J: Well, I’ve considered messing with my human shape a few times - there’s a few, uh, tweaks I have in mind, even if they might not be permanent.

C: (They shrug.) Just a longer life, really!

About your home…

C: I died there! Adventurer’s life for ya. Oh, you meant what I would change about it? Eh, nothing much. Don’t think I’d make a good god.

J: I wish I could be back there.

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

What're your parents like?

J: Um… normal? I think? Well-off enough to keep me sheltered.

C: One’s a cultist, one’s a bard! Got the best of both worlds, me!

Do you have any siblings?

J: One, I think. Nicole went off to the Americas before I… um. Ended up here. Next question, please?

C: Nope.

What's your occupation?

J: You… you do know where you are, right?

C: Division of Floaters! (They grab Jiwon by the shoulder and pull him close.) We’re partners in crime!

I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

C: Yes!

J: I’m considering a change of Departments.

Are you seeing/dating anyone?

J: I - no!

C: I can see you just fine, don’t worry.

Thinking about getting engaged, married, other

J: Not for a very long time, no.

C: Never really was into that, but thanks!

Tell us your biggest secret.

J: That is a very uncomfortable question.

C: Sorry, can’t say! Would remove the secret-ness from secrets, yeah?

Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

C: Don’t think I have one!

J: …I don’t know you well enough to say.

Favorite food?

C: Cheese! All the cheese.

J: Sushi. Nothing too specific, to be honest.

Favorite drink?

C: Milk! Dairy’s dairy.

J: Are you familiar with, uh… (He pauses to adjust his Universal Translator collar.) 식혜? That didn’t come out right, did it?

Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.

J: I wish I could think of one.

C: I learned the recipe for a potion of lichdom the other day! Medical workers know lots of funny things.

Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

C: Can’t think of any!

J: I’ll pass.

If you didn't answer Questions 28 and/or 32, tell me why.

C: I answered both, yeah?

J: They're a bit, uh… personal. For something like this.

Is that a good reason?

J: I… you know what? Yes, yes it is! (He huffs, crosses his arms, and looks away.)

C: What he said!

Part V: Breaking the Fourth Wall For these next few questions, I'll briefly remove the fourth wall between your world and your creator's. Try to remain calm.

Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you're actually a character?

J: What does that mean?

C: I already am one!

Now the fourth wall's gone. Response?

C: Don’t see a change!

J: …Eyes.

This is your creator's world. What's the first thing you notice?

C: Looks like New Caledonia! Think this place was inspired by it?

J: It doesn’t look like Heaven.

You just met your creator! First impression of them?

C: Looks fine to me!

J: Are you saying this is the face of God? I’m… I have a hard time believing that, to be honest.

Okay, let's put the fourth wall back. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?

C: Eh, pretty fine.

J: (Jiwon says nothing, staring blankly at the interview desk.)

Part VI: Closing

Are you satisfied with your life?

J: No.

C: Yep!

Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.

C: Feel like doing this, does that count?

J: I’m hoping to figure out what I want to be in this place. Maybe decide if… never mind.

Any hobbies?

C: (They heft the mandola in their lap.) Music! Love it, lifeblood of the universe and gateway to magic and all that.

J: Does playing video games count?

Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me…

C: Wished for cheese! Brie rind, specifically!

J: I… I kind of wish I could go back home.

How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?

C: I think it’s a good wish! Cheese is good, right?

J: Ah, mine is definitely selfish. I’m not going to pretend it’s not.

Have you been honest with these questions?

C: You’ll never know!

J: What… yeah, what they said.

Your personal quote?

J: Wait, what?

C: We were supposed to have those?

Do you like change?

J: Not much?

C: Depends on the change!

J: …I probably should have said that.

What's your most valued possession?

C: (They tap their mandola with a claw.) Prolly this guy!

J: I don’t know. Maybe just my body? That, uh, probably came out wrong.

Anything else you feel like sharing?

J: Absolutely not.

C: So much to say, so little time! You can come ask me later if you want! I’ll be in RC #724.

J: Why did you tell them that.

Last question! ...yup, that's it! How do you feel?

C: I feel great, thanks!

J: Please don’t take up Charlie’s offer.

Part I: Let's Start at the Beginning…

(Obligatory: a very good place to start!)

1: What's your name?

Naergondir.

2: Give me your full name...

In which tongue would you prefer it?

3: Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?

I do not believe I--I suppose 'Meldir' might perhaps fit the description, if I have understood correctly? Though it is not for the use of many.

4: What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)

I am of the Firstborn, though I fear you would better recognize the term 'First Age book!verse Tolkien Elf'.

5: Where/when were you born?

I was born in Valinor, before the Sun and Moon rose.

6: I see. And that would make your age...?

/a slightly mischievous smile/ Old. Over a thousand years.

7: Okay, now… are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

/and no more smiling/ /quietly/ It is the former term I have long attempted to suit. I can only hope my failures to do so will never resume.

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself…

Ah, if you wish it!

8: How would you describe your personality?

Mine is considered a calm temperament, at least among the Noldor. At times, I am indeed a man of lamentation, as my chosen name proclaims; but I am oft merry as well, for I have lived so long with my sorrow that the joys of life have come to burn brighter for me again.

9: Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

Regrettably so. That is, I regret that it has been so tested: but yes, I have grown well enough accustomed to various...pressures in my life.

10: Do you like to read?

Do I! I do indeed!

11: Favorite color?

One might well think it blue, as it is the one I wear most frequently; but in fact, it is gold, as were the flowers I loved best in Valinor.

12: Do you get along with others?

Frequently, yes.

13: Do you have any enemies?

I do not believe any are in Headquarters, at least.

14: How about friends?

Yes, surprisingly many considering--ah, I suppose, in summary, the many battles and wars of the First Age of Middle-earth. Its events in general, really.

15: Are you patient?

/the return of the mischievous smile!/ For one of my kindred--I assure you, I have the patience of a mountain.

Part III: Hypothetically…

Hm?

16: Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

I do not know that I would pick anything, especially having had the opportunity to take on forms not my own for missions using the disguise generator. If I must, I suppose it would be a bird: I should enjoy the view, I think, and the feeling of flight as well.

17: One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?

It is a trick. I must not lower my guard.

18: One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?

I presume we are arguing. I would like to think that, at my age, I would no longer insult this friend in return.

19: If you could change anything about yourself...

/quietly/ I would undo every wrong my hands dealt, knowingly and unknowingly.

...ah, you did not intend to include actions? I would improve my skill in smithing. I should like to be better satisfied with the ornaments I can make for myself, but alas...

20: About your home...

Ah. Perhaps...perhaps you might refer to my first response to the previous question, and apply it to the wrongs of many, many others.

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

...Has this not been personal?

21: What're your parents like?

When I knew them, they were good parents. I have not seen them in many hundreds of years now.

22: Do you have any siblings?

I do not.

23: What's your occupation?

I am an agent of the PPC, in the SIELU division.

24: I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

/smiles/ Well enough.

25: Are you seeing/dating anyone?

/chuckles/ Why do you ask?

26: Thinking about getting engaged, married, other?

I am not, no.

27: Tell us your biggest secret.

Ah, I can hardly do so and have it remain a secret, can I?

28: Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

But you thought to force me to answer the previous question? /not quite sarcastic, but a little tenser/ I thank thee for this permission.

29: Favorite food?

Better. I have ever been partial to fresh fruits; of late, I have found myself consistently intrigued by a number of noodle dishes.

30: Favorite drink?

I have preferences, but no favorite.

31: Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.

Only one? You do not wish to demand a list of my greatest triumphs and most abysmal failures?

32: Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

Ah, and here is the failure!

33: If you didn't answer Questions 28 and/or 32, tell me why.

It is no concern of thine.

34: Is that a good reason?

I believe it to be so, yes.

Part V: Breaking the Fourth Wall For these next few questions, I'll briefly remove the fourth wall between your world and your creator's. Try to remain calm.

/with growing sarcasm/ I shall attempt it.

35: Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you're actually a character?

I have already accepted that in this realm my home lies within the pages of many books. I do not appear in them by name. I accepted this years ago.

36: There! Now the fourth wall's gone. Response?

...your space is somewhat unkempt, miss. But then, mine is filled to overflowing with vegetation. Your hair is of good length, as well; do you ever braid it as I do? [Not quite as elaborately, usually, but yes!] Very good.

37: This is your creator's world. What's the first thing you notice?

The walls are not Generic Surface.

38: You just met your creator! First impression?

She is clearly tired. Creative as well, from what I see around her. She should likely rest soon, and better tidy her living space once she has done so.

39: Okay, let's put the fourth wall back. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?

...Hm. I suppose that was harmless enough. Certainly it does not change much of my pre-existing thoughts on the matter.

Part VI: Closing

Hm. Good.

40: Are you satisfied with your life?

As much as I can be, with Gurnirel retired and us both barred from Valinor.

41: Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.

Earn forgiveness. Taste the new flavors at PPTea.

42: Any hobbies?

... /laughs/ Yes, I should think so!

43: Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me…

I-- /eyes narrow/ I no longer wish to share, now that you are pressing me yet again!

44: How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?

Good, selfish, and selfless all in one. Likely 'other' as well. Do not think to press me on this detail--you have lost the right to such indulgence!

45: Have you been honest with these questions?

/seething just a little/ Of course.

46: Do you have a personal quote?

I do not.

47: Do you like change?

That depends on the change.

48: What's your most valued possession?

/reluctant, grumbling a little/ Hair ornaments forged for me in Valinor. I guarded them far too long not to treasure them all the moreso for their continued existence in my possession.

49: Anything else you feel like sharing?

Nothing at all.

50: Last question! ...Yup, that's it! How do you feel?

As though you have taken advantage of my agreement to be interviewed by adding particularly personal questions and attempting to determine for me what I may or may not choose to answer--! /a deep breath. Another. A third./ ...I shall bid you good day. I would appreciate not being treated like this by you again. Farewell.

---

Consecutively numbered list of questions, since some of the questions reference others by number. I think I've managed to format it to get around the Markdown automatic re-formatting now...

Part I: Let's Start at the Beginning…

1: What's your name?

2: Give me your full name...

3: Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?

4: What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)

5: Where/when were you born?

6: I see. And that would make your age...?

7: Okay, now… are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself…

8: How would you describe your personality?

9: Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

10: Do you like to read?

11: Favorite color?

12: Do you get along with others?

13: Do you have any enemies?

14: How about friends?

15: Are you patient?

Part III: Hypothetically…

16: Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

17: One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?

18: One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?

19: If you could change anything about yourself...

20: About your home...

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

21: What're your parents like?

22: Do you have any siblings?

23: What's your occupation?

24: I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

25: Are you seeing/dating anyone?

26: Thinking about getting engaged, married, other?

27: Tell us your biggest secret.

28: Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

29: Favorite food?

30: Favorite drink?

31: Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.

32: Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

33: If you didn't answer Questions 28 and/or 32, tell me why.

34: Is that a good reason?

Part V: Breaking the Fourth Wall For these next few questions, I'll briefly remove the fourth wall between your world and your creator's. Try to remain calm.

35: Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you're actually a character?

36: There! Now the fourth wall's gone. Response?

37: This is your creator's world. What's the first thing you notice?

38: You just met your creator! First impression?

39: Okay, let's put the fourth wall back. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?

Part VI: Closing

40: Are you satisfied with your life?

41: Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.

42: Any hobbies?

43: Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me…

44: How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?

45: Have you been honest with these questions?

46: Do you have a personal quote?

47: Do you like change?

48: What's your most valued possession?

49: Anything else you feel like sharing?

50: Last question! ...Yup, that's it! How do you feel?

**Welcome, Mina! I'm your author

What's your name?

Mina. Obviously.

Give me your full name...

Do I have to? Fine, Mina Overpower. I definitely don't have an embarrassing middle name.

Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?

No, I don't think so.

What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)

None of your business.

Where/when were you born?

...this is kinda hard to explain, but I was born in 2004, kinda.

I see. And that would make your age...?

1. I know it doesn't really make sense, but I got stuck in a plothole and was assumed dead for a while.

Okay, now… are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

A good guy, obviously!

How would you describe your personality?

Always positive and helpful to everyone.

Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

Sure, I guess.

Do you like to read?

Of course! Who doesn't?

Favorite color?

Uh, purple.

Do you get along with others?

When they get along with me.

Do you have any enemies?

No...

How about friends?

Yes, so many! Moira, and Alberta, and Charity... do my parents count?

Are you patient?

Can we just move on to the next question?

Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?

Same to you!

One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?

You need a hug.

If you could change anything about yourself...

I wouldn't.

About your home...

It's the best RC ever!

Part I

What's your name?

Beksis.

Give me your full name...

That is my full name. I have not earned an epithet, and since I have not met another Eliksni since joining the PPC, I suppose I never will. Is that enough for you?

What species are you?

I am an Eliksni, though most would call me a Fallen.

Where/when were you born?

I was hatched in the Cosmodrome, the home of the House of Devils, about 80 years before its leaders were killed in what Lightbearers call the SIVA Crisis.

I see. And that would make your age...?

88 years.

Okay, now...are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

[This question would make Beksis end the interview, so I'm skipping it. Destiny, her home canon, would label her a "bad guy," but acknowledges that the question is... thorny, to say the least.]

Part II

How would you describe your personality?

I am practical. I work with others to accomplish things, but I do not hesitate to flee when a challenge is too great. To do otherwise would have been certain death.

Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

If I could not, I would be a Dreg or dead.

Do you like to read?

I did not get much time for it back home. I spent my time hiding in caves, raiding for supplies, and fixing broken equipment. I loved stories as a hatchling, and I still enjoy them today.

Do you get along with others?

I try to adapt to others, yes. However, I am used to everyone being an enemy unless we serve the same Captain. I am wary of others.

Do you have any enemies?

None of my enemies can reach me now. Back home, the threat of starvation made humanity my enemy. The Captains trying to earn glory by provoking the Guardians were not much better; the cycle of violence was a danger to us all.

How about friends?

I used to have friends. They cannot reach me here any more easily than my enemies can. Hopefully, I will make new friends here. A crew would be good to have again.

Are you patient?

Most Eliksni are starved and humiliated until they learn cunning and ferocity. I was no exception. If I did not know how to wait for an opening, I would have been killed before becoming a Vandal.

Part III

One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?

I watch carefully to see if it is a trick.

One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?

I try to find out if something else is on their mind.

If you could change anything about yourself...

I would give myself the confidence to increase my Ether intake and become a Captain. Even though I helped DoSAT build a Servitor, I do not feel like I have earned the privilege to have as much as I need.

About your home...

I would bring back Riis. The Great Machine abandoned us in favor of humanity, and our homeworld was destroyed. Perhaps we were unworthy of the Great Machine's gifts, but I do not see how humanity is any more deserving. If it had stayed, both our species could have lived together.

Part IV

What're your parents like?

I never knew them. They were killed by the Hive before I was even a Dreg. I was raised by the rest of the crew.

Do you have any siblings?

If I do, I do not know them as such. The Captain I had growing up saw family ties as a source of weakness: disciplining members of the crew makes their families angry, which leads to rebellion, which wastes precious time and resources.

What's your occupation?

Most people would call me a space pirate. I prefer "survivor." Now, I work in the Department of Bad Slash.

I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

Ha, if you say so. I did enjoy it; I could see my contributions to the crew and the camaraderie was good. When Misraaks offered another way of life, I rejected him as another demagogue twisting our legends to build his own power. My Captain and crewmates disagreed, so I left. That was how I landed here. Now... I miss the community, but the alternative back home is constant danger from racists or warfare. This is better.

Are you seeing/dating anyone?

Not anymore.

Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

My worst fear is that Bungie will decide Misraaks was correct. That I was wrong, and that the Eliksni should not expect more than a sleeping bag in a crumbling building after being beaten by mobs during the day. That a few mumbled apologies from a handful of Guardians should make up for their comrades wearing our bones as trophies. That is my greatest fear, and the last time I played the game, that was what I saw.

Favorite food?

My favorite food is tonkatsu ramen. Ether may sustain us, but we need meat, too.

Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

I have been docked three times. I will not tell you what that means. You can look it up.

Part V

Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you're actually a character?

Before joining the PPC, I would have been furious. What kind of storyteller would create a world like mine, just to then tell me that none of it was real? Now, though, I must accept that as truth.

This is your creator's world. What's the first thing you notice?

I see few weapons and fewer ruined buildings. The computers seem a bit archaic, though.

You just met your creator! First impression of him?

He is looking for a role to play in his world, and is denied the opportunity. Even the lowest members of a crew get the chance to prove themselves or die trying. He pities me for what he knows about my people; I pity him for having nothing better to do.

Part V

Are you satisfied with your life?

I am unsure how to answer the question. I am in less danger of dying here, but I lost my friends and community to get that safety. I want both.

What's your most valued possession?

My House Dusk banner, which is set up in my Response Center. My closest friend gave it to me when I left my crew. She had her doubts about Misraaks, but decided to follow our Captain. I could not accept helping the same Guardians that assassinated our leaders and drove us into the wilds, stealing away what little unity we had as a species. If we met again, we would probably be fighting on opposite sides.

She wished me luck as she pressed the cloth into my claws.

Part I: Let's Start at the Beginning…

What's your name?

Finola

Give me your full name...

Agent Finola Galloway. Sheesh.

Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?

Hawkeye. Because people have no imagination.

What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)

Hawk Faunus. Guess which part of me got swapped out.

Where/when were you born?

Argus Air Force Base in Mistral. The Atlesian Air Force, mind you. That's in RWBY, for everybody else. About 21 years ago.

I see. And that would make your age...?

Guess.

Okay, now… are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

I'm a good guy. I mean, we do good things here, don't we?

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself…

How would you describe your personality?

Uh...I'm pretty nice, I guess. I got a lotta shit to put up with. I'm doing my best here.

Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

Yeah. I mean, I work here.

Do you like to read?

Sure, I guess. I mean, does anyone here say no? I thought the whole thing here was heading.

Favorite color?

I dunno. Blue, maybe?

Do you get along with others?

Yeah. I can work in a team.

Do you have any enemies?

Yep. A lot. There's a whole lotta Sues out there. And Grimm. And all the other bad guys.

How about friends?

Yeah. Besides Tolin, there's this, uh, firefighter who lives in New Cal, she's from Mistral. We get coffee.

Are you patient?

Yes. Do you know how long Missions can be? Yes, I know we can portal through fics.

Part III: Hypothetically…

Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

I could. That's what the diguise generator is for. I'm happy being myself, thanks.

One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?

They can still go to hell.

One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?

They can go to hell too.

If you could change anything about yourself...

Well, I could do without periods. Definitely without the cramps. Fuck that shit.

About your home...

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

What're your parents like?

They're pretty great. Both Air Force, but I love 'em anyway. Heh, that's Army humor for you. To be honest, I don't think they were super happy when I enlisted. Looking back now I can't blame 'em.

Do you have any siblings?

Nope

What's your occupation?

Agent, like I said. I work in Floaters.

I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

Good? I don't know about that. Like it? It could be worse. Somebody has to do it, though.

Are you seeing/dating anyone?

Nope. You think I have time for that? You're lucky my console hasn't beeped yet.

Thinking about getting engaged, married, other?

Maybe sometime. That's a later problem.

Tell us your biggest secret.

Uh, no.

Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

Again, no.

Favorite food?

Dunno. I'll eat pretty much anything. Those fried things they had at Rudi's last week were pretty good.

Favorite drink?

Probably coffee.

Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.

Making T/5. I had to work hard to get there.

Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

If you didn't answer Questions 28 and/or 32, tell me why.

Because they're pretty personal, asshole.

Is that a good reason?

Yeah. It is.

Part V: Breaking the Fourth Wall For these next few questions, I'll briefly remove the fourth wall between your world and your creator's. Try to remain calm.

Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you're actually a character?

At this point? Here? I'll believe anything.

There! Now the fourth wall's gone. Response?

I'm shocked. Really. I'm fucking amazed.

(She was not)

This is your creator's world. What's the first thing you notice?

It's Earth, right? Well, you could've told me it would be spring here. I could've brought a sweater.

You just met your creator! First impression?

That guy? I dunno. I was expecting...more, I guess.

Okay, let's put the fourth wall back. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?

Part VI: Closing

Are you satisfied with your life?

It could be better, but it could be a lot worse.

Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.

Well, since you asked about food, I'm getting kinda hungry.

Any hobbies?

Since you mentioned it, I read. Sometimes. I play a lot of video games. I'm on a Grifball team, too. One of the ones who don't use, uh, lethal weapons.

Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me…

I wish you guys would pay me for those photographs I sent you last month. Where's my money? I know you published them.

How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?

You know, you take long enough, I'll go ask DIA about this.

Have you been honest with these questions?

Yeah.

Do you have a personal quote?

No.

Do you like change?

If it's good.

What's your most valued possession?

My rifle. I've gone through a lot with it.

Anything else you feel like sharing?

Uh...no.

Last question! ...Yup, that's it! How do you feel?

Still hungry. I'm gonna go find some lunch.

((Only part 1 in this post for convenience. Might finish the other parts in chunks))

---

1. Fáelán. FYE-lahn.

2. Fáelán Portavius.

3. For some reason, Helena calls me Filus. She has yet to explain why.

4. Fairy. I do recognize the similarities my species has with Tolkien elves, but I do not appreciate having my species mistaken for theirs.

5. I come from Twisted Wonderland, the canon continuum and world.

6. I don't remember mine, but my species is considered ridiculously long-lived by others in my world.

7. I have no clear answer.