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How could she have been so clumsy? This was just ridiculous.

But there was no time to berate herself now. There was a battle at hand.

"LOK'TAR OGAR!" she screamed, throwing herself at the orc, fists at the ready.

((Or it says/implies in the description that the ability must be used (All Wizard, Hedge Mage and Sorceror abilities, Dwarven Improving, Elven Enchanting and Controling Animals, Halfling Tracking, Centaur's Charge! and Healer, Trapmaster, Enthrallment) Or it's a Special Ability (which are normal passive actions), at the moment there are only 2, Invisibility and Tea))

(Uriel runs over to engage the massive Orc unarmed, stepping between it and Xiv'vritt. He hopes to utilize his Slugger ability.)

I think I could even use your console as a testbed. I could get a bit optimistic however, so you're warned.

And the only part of me ever ending up on your lap will be my foot. Guess where?

"Another group of 'adventurers' have arrived." The figure that spoke was crouched over a divining pool. watching as it showed the room the party were in. Their figure was hidden by a long hooded robe. "They seem less experienced than the previous ones who came. Shall I release the gas my lord?"

"No, child. Let them come. Although I doubt they will do little more than expand our army of undead, it is still refreshing to see some more morsels come to the challenge."

"Very well, my lord. Is that why you removed their equipment?"

"Yes, my child. They would of been no challenge with the rubbish they had. At the very least now we can enjoy a challenging hunt. Is the pool set up to see each of the rooms?"

"Yes my lord."

"Good."

---

Virro: (3) You look around for some kind of ranged weapon on the weapon racks. Noticing a few bows you can't quite make up your mind which one you want.

Evard: (11) You find a fine piece of Studded Leather Armour, specifically made for Tako's. You put it on and feel the magic wash over you as you do so. Looking down, you realise you have briefly become invisible, a real boon for a Rogue like you. Gained Studded Leather Armour(+4, Invisibility)

Uriel: (6) Noticing that Evard has picked up the only 2 daggers from the wall, and seeing as you are currently unable to see the Tako to ask if you can borrow one, you instead decide to pick up a small mace that catches your eye. Turning back to your teapot, before you can do anything you notice a droplet of liquid falling from the ceiling and landing in the spout of the teapot, sliding down and mixing with the tea itself. Rushing over you open the lid but cannot smell or see anything wrong with the tea. Gained Mace(+1), Tea

Keegra: (2) Heading over to the Eastern door you trip up and smack your head against the door, even with your thick skull it hurts and the door doesn't come away fine either, not only is it forced open it also has a hole in it where your head hit it. (-1 Injury, 1 round remaining). Unfortunately the noise of your crash seems to reverberate through the dungeon, and the door at the other end of the corridor opens. Out steps an Orc... Gained Concussion (-1 Injury, 1 round remaining)

Xiv'riit: (8) Guarding the Southern doorway, you hear Keegra trip over, and decide to check if she is OK. Moving to the Eastern doorway you Notice she has banged her head and is slowly getting up off the floor. You notice the Orc at the other end of the corridor and step in front of where Keegra is stand, bravely brandishing your Spork and preparing to see what the Orc will do.

Kali: (6) Despite your searching, you can only find one piece of armour than you can wear that is both light for you to use, and small enough for a Halfling. It looks a bit old and as if it's been in a few fights, but it'll still help protect you, and that's what matter, right? Gained Leather Armour(+1)

Yeleni: (5) Searching rather randomly, as if you're not quite sure what you are looking for, you come across a nice Quarterstaff. Pleased with your find, you notice the Orc at the end of the Eastern corridor and wonder if you're going to put your new weapon to use soon. Gained Quarterstaff(+2)

Orc 1: (11 - 1Cir = 10) Noticing the adventurers at the other end of the corridor, Orc 1 grunts something in his native language before charging towards the fallen Keegra. Thankfully Xiv'riit gets in the way before Orc 1 can take on the fallen and concussed Half-Orc

Combat!: (Orc 1 vs Xiv'riit. Orc 1 gets 21 (20 + 1 Damage) vs Xiv'riit gets 7 (2 + 5) Xiv'riit loses 14 Health. As a natural 20, Orc 1 gets a second attack, 11 vs 7, Xiv'riit loses a further 4 Health.) Many elves and dwarves know how lethal an Orc charge can be, having fought against the barbarians dozens of times in the past. This Orc must either be a veteran of one of those charges, or have been taught exactly how to charge as he smashes into Xivriit, managing to get two attacks off against the Shardmind as it can barely move in terror. The Orc's Longsword gouges a large wound in the Shardmind's side, before the second hit smashes into the Shardmind's shield arm. Things do not look good for the Shardmind, and the Orc knows it.

Characters:

Virro: Weapons - , Armour - , Other - (+1 Cir when guarding a door or doorway), Health 26/26

Evard: Weapons - Dagger(+2), Dagger(+1), Armour - Studded Leather Armour(+4, Invisibility), Other - Invisibility (Can turn invisible for one round (counts as a passive action), Cannot be noticed or attacked by enemies whilst invisible, +1 Circumstance when attacking whilst invisible. Invisibility can be activated once every 4 Rounds (Rounds Remaining 4)). Health 23/23

Uriel: Weapons - Gained Mace(+1), Armour - , Other - Tea, Health 29/29

Keegra: Weapons - , Armour - , Other - Concussion (-1 Injury, 1 round remaining), Health 22/22

Xiv'riit: Weapons – Spork(+3), Armour - , Other - , Health 10/28

Kali: Weapons - , Armour - Leather Armour(+1), Other - , Health 12/12

Yeleni: Weapons - Quarterstaff(+2), Armour - , Other - , Health 26/26

Orc 1: Weapons - Longsword(+1), Armour - Studded Leather Armour(+3), Other- , Health 26/26

But if you're willin' to hunt for some additional materials, then I don' see a problem to do somethin' with 'em for ya.

Let me know when your magic is goin' to work around electronics, then we'll talk about me goin' out of business.

P.S. You can end up on my lap anytime you want ;)

Why did you choose to work in an action department like Floaters (or did you choose)?

Reader: "Er, no. I'd be a terrible choice. You should try Emiranlanoamar; he's a good teacher, and he knows what he's talking about far better than I do."

Dawn: "Oh, that's easy. The best use of fire is in a flamethrower; the function of a rubber duck is to tell lies, float in bathtubs, and confuse wizards; and my best moment as an agent...hm. Hmm. I've actually had a lot of those, now that I'm thinking about it...uh, this one time I made three Sues disappear in a giant Puff of Logic, and that felt pretty awesome because I hadn't been an Assassin for too long by that point. And...seeing Lothlorien. That was a spectacular moment. Still is, actually--that place never gets less beautiful, except when it's been Sued...yeah, come to think of it, another of my favorite moments as an agent was the first time I killed a Sue in Lorien and got to watch the place blaze back into its proper glory all around me..." trails off, looking dreamy

Jacques: "Oh, believe me, Lux and I have known each other for a while. I'd repeat some of the stuff we've done, but I've got it on good authority that most of HQ doesn't want to know...anyway. We're friends, have been for quite a while now--and, believe me, we have fun." winks

For Jacques: Have you met Luxury? If so, how did that go?

For Dawn: What is the best use of fire? What is the function of a rubber duck? Also, what's your best moment you've had as an agent?

For the Reader: Can you teach me how to fly a TARDIS? :3

Maz: I mean, uh, he's, um, right there. I don't, uh, want to, um, dude, no offence, but I might say, um, something rude?

Yocherry: What irritates me most about Maz is her respect for everybody's feelens.

Maz: ...

Yocherry: My favourite part of her, though, is her exasperated glaren. She's horrible good at it.

Maz: I can, uh, never tell how, um, sarcastic he's being.

Yocherry: I hate sarcasm, boss.

Maz: Yeah, uh, like that. That's, um, weird, dude.

Yocherry: What do you like about me, boss?

Maz: Your, uh, your hair.

[And the noise of a very large, bald man descending into fits of chuckling. It goes something like: 'Eh-heh, eh-heh, eh-heh, eh-heh!' with some wheezes in between]

"I've got longer stories, I can come back to life in perfect health, and I think I've got enough saved up to drink us both under the table. You're on."

Fine. It's not like this is canon anyways.

In the purely theoretical scenario that I am noticed and that someone finds me attractive and that I somehow manage to find the courage to talk to her and she is still interested in knowing more about me after I open my mouth and that I don't chicken out...

I'd like to have a nice, quiet dinner with my theoretical date. No restaurants— I don't have the money for that. Instead, I'd cook something for her and we'd share supper. Something home-made and personal. It's nicer that way, isn't it? Something that I would make with my hands and offer to someone. Afterwards, if she'd be up for it, I'd like to take her for a walk in the evening. I know a wonderful part of my home city that is by the water and it's so very nice at sunset. We'd walk until the sun goes down and then some and then I'd drive her back to wherever she lives and end the evening like that. Maybe she'd like to watch a movie— I'd be okay with that. I would like to imagine myself open to suggestions on what she wants to do too— after all, a relationship is a two-way street, right?

It's stupid, it's delusional, it's massively cliché, it's probably not how this works in real life. I've only got books and TV shows to work out how this business works— heck, the nicest thing that has ever been said to me in a romantic context goes along the lines that I'll have to bioengineer a new species because nobody in their right mind would want to live their life with me.

But one can hope. And heaven knows that hope is a terrible thing.

Sooo...a bit less sane than you'd rather, but a little bit more than you'd expect? :)

And to Wobbles--actually to both of you: we should all hang out sometime! Or separately, whatever works; I know some partners like to get a break from each other. Let me know!

~Dawn

Questions are again open to my two planned agents, Officer Larkus Grun of the CSF and former Adventurer's Guild Journeyman Turff-Croft, a.k.a. Curff.

Can you describe your idea of the perfect date?

"Two daggers. Hm. They seem... fairly magical." Evard tossed them from limb to limb, juggling the daggers rather well for someone who wasn't terribly experienced at fighting on dry land. "Though that might just be the One and Two inscribed on the blades. A shame there wasn't another. Now I just need some equipment - my own weapon oils will only stretch so far, for one."

Evard padded off, oddly silent on the stone floor save for the occasional schlup as her suckers kept her upright. Her plan was to search through the rest of the racks and find some armour made for tako, or at least something a bit nicer than her rather dowdy travelling clothes.

Wobbles: "Yeah!"

The Notary: "I live with the most colourful human in Headquarters, McKenna. Take a wild guess."

"If you want to, sure! Just remember three things: I've got long stories, I've got nanotech internal organs, and you've got the bill. See you there""

Virro begins to search the room for a ranged weapon of some sort, preferably a bow, while saying, "I believe we should be wary of staying here too long. This room and its resources may be setting us up for some kind of trap."