Subject: Uh-oh,
Author:
Posted on: 2010-10-09 13:32:00 UTC
thought SttQ, we got ourselves a nervous one here. Have to fix that, or she could put us all in danger.
Noting the girl's nervous glances at the van, she said, "Don't be afraid. C4 is relatively safe. Lighting it with a match will only make it burn slowly, like a piece of wood, and even shooting it with a rifle won't make it blow up. Only a triggered detonator can make that happen. Just think of it as molding clay. As for the situation..." She stopped and bit her lip, praying that her explanation wouldn't cause Lowtide to fly into a complete panic. Finally, she decided to give her (and everyone else) the lowdown in overflowing measure. Addressing the small group, she said,
"Okay, um... Behind these walls, in the building that used to be the fish packing plant, all the worst Sues and Stus in the history of badfic are currently assembled. No-one seems to know how they got here (though I'm guessing evil summoning rituals were involved), but CIA reports indicate that they have been planning," here she took a deep breath, "the total Sueification of the world for some time now. They have only gathered here to discuss the final details.
You can easily see why we have to succeed. Because if we fail, then by tomorrow morning the whole world will have become an urple and wilver nightmare asylum. All living things will have been wiped out by an overdose of glitter, and only Sues, Stus and Cute Animal Friends will be left. This is what we are here to stop.
As for combat, the best thing would be to avoid it altogether, but this may not be possible. We shouldn't actually have to go inside the building, but we all know what Sue senses can be like. If those things detect us, there'll be big trouble. Granted, Sues like, say, laura and Clbr**n won't put up much of a fight, but there are also goddess!Sues and ultimate!warrior!Stus around. However, further reports state that their powers have degraded considerably since they entered World One. It seems," she said with a grim smile, "that the innate coherence of our world is proving a bit too much for them.
So," she finished, "shall I outline the plan, or are there more questions about the situation? If so, ask them quickly, because the clock is ticking."