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and looked at Liadan, rather annoyed. "Does this mean that the cafeteria was not where we were meant to bring them? Because if so, then why was I requested to run all the way down here at the risk of my life?"

Cassie and Iza were still busy cooing over the minis and seemed to have completely forgotten about the current situation. Nat, who was getting very used to Cassie's apparent ability to switch off to anything she didn't feel like paying attention to, shrugged and turned to Liadan as well.

"Is Sedri right, then? Should we not have brought them here? I heard you lot were tagging them or something."

Nathan says slowly, after taking a long draught from his Catachan whiskey, "How are we going to get them trapped anywhere without placing ourselves at risk, sausage or no? I have a syringe of polymorphine from my division, if we have someone willing to temporarily turn into one of those things, if that would work. Or... hmmm..." The Inquisitor thinks for a minute. "Or I can run as bait. I'm barely defined enough to qualify as a redshirt."

about the cafeteria. I swear I looked back over all the previous posts...]

They went, walking mostly in silence while Iza cooed over the mini-Balrogs and started a hushed conversation with Cassie about how she could adopt one. Sedri, fiddling with her far-too-long-a-name pocket knife, didn't hear.

Either everyone was distracting themselves fairly well or HQ was simply tired of ypur stampedes, because they reached the cafeteria within a few minutes.

The door was shut. No charm locked it. The noise inside was deafening.

Sedri paused, dagger in hand, still feeling a bit stupid thanks to her earlier memory lapse. "Uh... Nat? You said the ypur love sausages, right?"

Nat nodded. "Yes."

"How many sausages do you think are stored in the back of the cafeteria?"

Hivemind? Your request for an acid maw biomorph on the Agent of your choice has been approved. Welcome to the looney bin.

...and nodded. "Sure," Nat said. "It's not like we have anything else to do right now."

Cassie grinned. "I've always wanted to see Potterverse magic in action. So, to the cafeteria then?" She cast an enquiring glance at the others before heading off down the corridor the same way Tyler and the Ypurs had gone.

Before she'd taken more than a few steps, however, what seemed to be two ambulatory fireballs came charging around the corner and leapt for her. She caught one and quickly put it down, wincing. "Greenlead, you know you burn mummy when she's not wearing her fireproof gear! And where have you two been? I've been so worried!"

Nat rolled her eyes, but tossed a slice of bacon towards the slightly smaller fiery creature, which was approaching her. "All right, Giml, there you go." She watched Cassie wander off down the corridor and sighed. "Shall we follow her, then?"

[[Winter, is there any chance you could start putting our posts in the past tense? It kind of throws me off a bit when I'm reading through.]]

"I'm a newbie, and was on my way to my ... tahdis? ... when an Assassin who looked like a giant saltshaker, leading an ypur back with sausage, told me I had to do the same, as well as change something. I asked an Agent in DBS to help with the Ypurs I was luring, but she responded with an indecent proposal."
"Agent Lux," said Agent Blast J of DAVD. "And the way you're dressed, no wonder. Go find your TARDIS and put something opaque on. But don't think of wherever your partner said your TARDIS is. Distract yourself or you'll never get anywhere. Meet us in the cafeteria when you're ready."
Rosalie left down the corridor.

"If I had to guess," said Blast J, "I'd say it was a plant for the LMSF trying to throw us in disarray. Here's hoping they get the You-have-failed-me treatment," she added.
"NOT LIKE-LY," said Omicron. "TO BE THE LEAGUE OF MA-RY SUE FAC-TOR-IES, I MEAN."

Nathan and the still-featureless female figure exchange a look, and shrug towards Liadan.

"We don't have much to offer besides firepower, but we'll accompany you."

"We're thinking between eighty and a hundred." She said, her brow knitted as she tried to remember. "It's quite odd actually. I used a locking charm on the Cafeteria last night, but it was dissolved, which let the Ypurs loose. We're thinking their pelts or horns might repel magic. Either that, or.." Liadan trailed off for a minute. "Or someone let them out."

Holding up her wand, which seemed to give off an indignant spark, Liadan waved it threateningly. "After we get them all back in, then I'm gonna be checking on how they got out. Anyone wanna join me?"

"...we need to get them down to the cafeteria. If Tyler's been distracted enough, he'll already be there."

Cassie shrugged. "If he is, then we'd be better off avoiding him."

"Come on, Cass, he's a right softy, he couldn't use a weapon if he tried."

"Well, you argue with him about it then." The bespectacled Agent turned to Liadan. "So how many ypurs got out altogether, then? We've seen about forty so far, but I'm guessing we're not the only ones to have run across them. And if there are more out, then maybe we could... um... no, I'm out of ideas without the sausages. Sorry."

Yeah, that's right. I give pokes.

Anyway.

You need permission to actually PPC a 'fic, so for that you need to Page the Permission Givers with a sample of your writing and a link to the badfic in question, and... I think your agents? And they'll look around and give you an answer. Those I can think of are Techno_Dann and Huinesoron, and... Tawaki? I don't remember.

Anyway.

poke

Enjoy your stay a'Board, hope to see you around, have a whisk and a pair of fireproof gloves, good luck!

Agent Sedri, who had been tapping her foot impatiently, now blinked. "Sure," she drawled. "Let's just sit here and get drunk while the ypur overrun HQ."

Iza squeaked. "Sedri!" she hissed. "Be nice!" Turning a bright smile to Nathan she said, "I'd like some-"

"Oh no you don't," said Sedri, snatching the bottle. "You're a menace sober. Now what exactly are we going to do, people?" she asked, hands on hips. "How can we restrain the ypur, and where do we have to haul them back to? Hmmm? Can we use a portal generator and activate it in front of them?"

"If that's all it takes," muttered Cassie, "Tyler will kill us."

one that the Doctors had been able to remove, Arti wandered around Medical. Since his recent abduction by Medical for mental reasons, he didn't see why turning all the Agents in sight into extremely attractive pseaduo-Sues was a bad thing, Arti had been bored out of his brain.
It had only been in the past week that he was allowed to wander around Medical, assuming he did not go near their supply of sugar, bleeprin, or sugarfied Bleeprin.

Glaring at the same wall he had been glaring for for three days, which had reduced it to a trembling pile on the ground, Arti contemplated the excitement in escaping. He knew he'd have to spend a large amount of time in here, but it was oh so boring now.

Well, ask and you shall recieve. At this point, two Agents walked in to Medical. Or at least, one walked, the other was dragged. Looking at the hurt one closely, Arti wondered why there appeared to be dust and footprints all over her.

Lunac nodded. "Thanks Ansela. If anything, they're just a natural weapon. These machines just boost my capabilities by a lot."

Looking over at Riza, Lunac adopted a confused look. "Zanpakuto? Sorry if I did insult him. I'm just not used to many things having psychic capabilities around here. Hell,I don't even have psychic capabilities without these machines." He waved towards the broken device. "It just caught me off guard. I really am sorry."
Getting shakily to his feet, he gave a sigh of relief once he was balanced. "Ok, which RC are we going to? If we can duck in, then we can go check on the cafeteria."

I still have my old badfics from...fifth grade. That's how young I was when I started getting into the fandoms.

I've MSTed my own badfics, though. I just take a character from my more recent fics and force him/her to read it. Always fun to do.

Beaver (possessed): What are those two menances that smell like metal and dragons doing here? I'm sure that draconic one is evil. And the metallic one must be an accomplice! I do hope Aslan will sort them out. He did get rid of the Witch.

Beaver (unpossessed): Thank Aslan! These two must have been sent by him. That little blondie menance must go. She is no Pevensie, that's right. She doesn't smell like them. But those two peace-bringers also smell strange...

Agent Eledhwen was happily minding her own buisness strolling down the hallways trying to look innocent and not hurried at all. In reality, she was in a rush and needed to get back to her RC before her partner Christianne realizes that she was gone.
Don't think about RC#L0121F4114C3... she reminded herself every other second. Don't think about the fact that you're in a hurry. She tried to calm herself down as she walked on and on in the endless hallways of gray.
THUMP. THUMP.
Eledhwen nearly jumped three feet in the air. "What was that?" she murmured as she looked around her wildly.
THUMP THUMP THUMPITY THUMP THUMP.
Eledhwen's hand tightened on the hilt of her sword. She looked around again, but her elven eyesight revealed nothing.
"It's probably upstairs," the part-time Assassin told herself. "Nothing special. I suppose it's just another two or more Agents getting frisky or something. Christy has often complained about our neighbors..."
She never finished that thought because a whole herd of ram-like creatures suddenly popped out of a random plot hole, thundering down the corridor.
And Eledhwen was in their way.

"Confusticate that elleth!" snarled Christianne. "She must have snuck out while I was taking my nap." The Assassin stormed out the door and down the corridor.
She was in such a rage (Not to mention that she was easily provoked, so a small issue like sneaking out when she was sleeping gets her positively fuming when she finds out.) that she tripped right over something on the ground. Christianne looked down, ready to shoot a stream of expletives at it. She refrained from doing so, however, when she saw who was lying on the ground.
It was Eledhwen. Or rather, Eledhwen run over by a bunch of stampeding Ypurs. Christianne groaned. "It looks like I'm going to have to lug her sorry ass over to Medical, then," she grumbled to herself as she picked up the unconscious elleth and started making her way over to Medical.

Or at least my science teacher does. She was trying to get onto imeen to hear something I emailed her but the school computer blocked it. Bummer.

The something was "For Good" from Wicked, btw.

While the female figure pulls an eviscrator (translator kicking in: twelve-foot chainsaw sword, designed for anti-tank duty) from her localized hammerspace, the male pulls up a convenient chair and a large bottle filled with an unidentifiable liquid.

"Howdy." The figure says, gaining definition by the minute. "I think I'm called Nathan now, but the voices in my head tell me it's only a tentative name-they're not wasting time on my parter at the moment. Fun little critters, those. Remind me of critters from my homeworld. Speaking of which, Catachan whiskey?" The man offers his bottle to the others.

"Well, that has to be all of them now, doesn't it? Tyler just lured about thirty off to the cafeteria." She shrugged and leaned against the wall. "Maybe we should go down there and see if they're back."

Nat shrugged and waved at the newcomer. "Okay, seeing as nobody else feels like it, I'll introduce." She nodded towards the two faceless people. "They're Inquisitor and Sister, apparently. You already know me and Cass, and I think you know Sedri and Iza."

Elsewhere, Tyler was running for his life. Having thirty stampeding ypurs behind him was almost as motivating as thirty stampeding Agents. He raced through the door ahead of him and found himself in the cafeteria lobby. Sprinting for the cafeteria door, he yanked it open and threw the sausages inside before diving behind the door.

The ypurs charged through and he slammed it shut, then leaned against it, completely winded, and gasped for breath. Fortunately, he had very good lungs, and was just about recovered by the time another group came pounding towards him. Calmly opening the door, he let them run back into the cafeteria and closed it behind them before sitting down and waiting for either Lunac or Liadan to arrive.

"Foolish child. Do not kill yourself through exhaustion and overwork," Risa knelt down next to Lunac and looked him in the eye. "I suggest that you take some time to rest and regain energy before you attempt any more of your teleportations, or I will restrain you myself."

Standing up, Risa brushed off her shihakusho and resettled her zanpakuto on her hip. "Dokuha would like an apology from you. He, like many snakes, is rather prideful and does not appreciate you confusing him for a Hell Butterfly."

"What Risa's trying to say," Ansela leaned on her partner's shoulder and grinned at Lunac, "is that Dokuha is her zanpakuto, and is giving her a headache right now with his whining. Hissing. Whatever. Say, you wanna come to our RC? I'm sure I have some Super Restore or Magic Potions or Wizard Mind Bombs lying around there that might help you out. Your powers are kind of like magic, aren't they?"

Liadan slid across the floor, hitting the wall and collasping into an undignified pile.

"#^%&@($ Ypurs!" She cried, unaware of her newfound ability to pronounce symbols in her speech. Rubbing her head, she looked up at the group of people near her. "Oh great. None of you saw that. If any of you are thinking of telling anyone else, let me now so I can Obliviate you now." She held up her wand threateningly. Getting to her feet, she dusted herself off ignoring the wet patches on her uniform.

Liadan suddenly froze as she looked at the featureless beings before her. Blnking her eyes to see if they were playing tricks on her, they weren't, she shook her head. "Hi, not sure who you are, but hi." Looking over at Cassie, Liadan grinned. "Hiya Cassie, haven't seen you since Robecca. Good party after that, huh?"

Hearing the trampling of what had to be yet another stampede of Ypurs, Liadan instantly moved into action. Raising her wand, she moved it in a sweeping motion, muttering under her breath. Where there had previously been empty air there was now a Ypur. Looking down at this one, Liadan quirked her mouth.

"It's the one we domesticated." She told the other Agents. "So far he's been having fun acitng as transport for some of the lazier minis, but the Ypurs go off of a group mind. If one isn't running anywhere, they'll stop."

Looking up at the woman who had summoned him, the Ypur cocked his head. She was a nice woman, she smelt like sausages. A rumbling made him turn to the left. A stampede of his brethren were running at him!
At this point, the group mind Liadan had mentioned kicked in. The domesticated Ypur began running, keeping a considerable lead over the other Ypurs.

Watching the departing Ypur dumbly, Liadan let out a 'Gah!', and rubbed her temples. "That didn't go as planned."

Resisting the urge to cover his eyes or rub his temple, Lunac settled for simply shaking his head. 'Ok, I'm on my way. I'll just grab my Blissey and we'll be right over. Oh, and having my brain shredded by a Butterfly is not oly painful, but quite humiliating.'

Spreading out with his powers again, and feeling the weariness that came when he was doing too much, Lunac sighed. Connecting with his Pokemon, he asked her to head to the Cafeteria, interuppting her action of slapping a Ypur into the next century.

'We're on our way.' Lunac sent, before cutting off the connection. Looking around, Lunac shrugged, closed his eyes and spun around on the spot. Opening his eyes again, and taking a dizzy step forward, and turned a corner to find Risa and Ansela.
Lunac's eyes flashed over the pile of Ypurs. Giving the two Agents a grin, he knelt next to the bovines. "Sorry if I was short, I'm kinda tired, for obvious reasons." He told Risa. Narrowing his eyes, he glared at the ile of Ypurs, and with a 'Pop', they disappeared into the cafeteria. A spell of dizziness fell over Lunac and he fell down onto his backside, clutching his head. "Wow that does not feel good." He murmured. On his arm, one of the machines beeped rapidly, before sparking and dying. Glaring at it between his fingers, Lunac groaned.

...trying to bring the Ypurs they captured into the room. Deciding not to interfere with their work, he went into a random side corridor, and saw another pack. Using one of his extra nets, he caught them all. After finding the portal again, he then left. Two heavy catches ought to be enough to earn enough money to the Smut Carver Victim's fund, he tought.

Whatever the power that plucked the strange figures out of the womb of creation, it now gave the nameless figures some description, though both were still hopelessly generic, and only if you knew the subject matter-one could be described only as an Inquisitor-male human, late twenties. The other, a Sister of Battle-female human, mid twenties, ritual scars on her face. The male steps forwards and speaks with a distinct drawl.

"We are without name, for our creator has given us none. For now, you may simply call me Inquisitor, and my companion Sister. She cannot speak, for our creator has yet to decide on her syntax and accent. We are, of course, well armed, but we will consent to use our neuro shredders in this case-weapons that disrupt the electrical activity in the brain, allowing for lethal or nonlethal incapacitance as deemed necessary."