Subject: Agreed.
Author:
Posted on: 2010-09-02 00:21:00 UTC
Basically good but for the sorts of things that not rushing and/or getting a beta would fix, but I didn't really get a sense of what was so wrong with the fic (other than turning someone into a naga).
Also, I'm not familiar with Kingdom Hearts, but are there centaurs in that 'verse? The only thing I can think of that would make sense is the ones from Fantasia, but you didn't really describe the disguise other than saying it was taller than Caroline, and it confused me.
So as not to end on a negative note, I will add that the bit about the second-hand weapons cache run by a pack of apathetic teenagers was particularly amusing. Partly because in HQ, it's probably true. g
~Neshomeh