Subject: Burn salves? *hands over* And flameproof armour, too. (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2008-09-17 08:52:00 UTC
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Greetings from a newcomer by
on 2008-09-16 18:33:00 UTC
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Greetings, folks. I honestly can't remember how I originally came to this site, but I've been lurking and enjoying myself reading the PPC stories for a while, and thought I'd emerge from hiding at last as a newcomer to this community, and a hopeful recruit into the PPC.
My background in fanfic lies primarily in the Baldur's Gate, Warhammer 40,000, and Supreme Commander settings-I have a thing for the darker and morally ambiguous settings, and have been dealing with the issue of Mary Sue for a while-the Baldur's Gate setting in particular virtually forces a good-aligned protagonist to be a Mary Sue to some degree, and I've enjoyed reading the stories here, getting ideas of what is and is not acceptable. I fully confess that my first attempts at fanfic writing were indeed Mary Sues, but I have since buried or rehabilitated them.
I also might as well declare my intent now to seek permission to join the PPC as a novice agent, given my background in Warhammer 40,000, with the intent to hunt down and smite, disentangle, and purge the Mary Sue, the crossover, and the badslash with extreme prejudice, starting with the Warhammer 40k fanfic sector. I'll probably post an official request for permission in the near future, but for now, this newcomer salutes you all and the laughs he's gotten out of the storie. -
Hallo! by
on 2008-09-19 04:54:00 UTC
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offers a box of biscuits Well met, and all that. Afraid I don't know much about your areas, but it's good to know there're other things out there, yes?
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Re: Hallo! by
on 2008-09-19 17:42:00 UTC
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Biscuits? Who told you I was a Southern boy who was brought up on biscuits and cornbread?!
Is too busy munching to respond further -
Anti-Lustin Lilies(easier to make than roses). by
on 2008-09-17 12:26:00 UTC
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You'll need them! I only learned about Warhammer 40000 from Wikipedia and TvTropes, but I kow you'll need them.
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Re: Anti-Lustin Lilies(easier to make than roses). by
on 2008-09-17 12:36:00 UTC
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Not sure why-I am a male writer. The only women about are xenos (filth, fit only for annihilation), Sisters of Battle (liable to turn you into a meat candle at the slightest provocation), Inquisitors (liable to turn you into a meat candle at the slightest provocation, but only after excruciating torture), adepts of the Adeptus Mechanicus (robo-girls aren't my thing), and female troopers in the Imperial Guard (fraternization within the ranks is discouraged).
Granted, anti-lustin lilies would be much more useful to a female writer in the 40k setting. -
Umm... Luxury and any Fangirls you get? (nm) by
on 2008-09-18 11:59:00 UTC
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Actually, you'll need them anyways. by
on 2008-09-17 23:45:00 UTC
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Fangirls that are getting really desperate for love (read: lust)is one thing to fear. And Agent Luxury is pretty bad too (I belive she seems to have the mind of Cho Chang from Co Cag's Dsrs...either that or she just doesn't care, as long as she got laid).
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Re: Actually, you'll need them anyways. by
on 2008-09-18 00:53:00 UTC
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Fangirls getting desperate for love/lust? Does this mean I may have doomed myself upon identifying myself as male? I was aware the gender ratio of this place was rather skewed...
Thank you for the warning and the gift. I will hand the flowers over to the Adeptus Mechanicus to see if they can process it and integrate it into bolter shells. Antilustin-Pattern ammunition may be a valuable tool indeed.. -
Oh, yes you did. *sigh* by
on 2008-09-18 01:13:00 UTC
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Girls get more defensive of their lust object. That's one reason. And a lot of the males at HQ are supposedly good-looking and well built (Agent Suicide and ex-Agent Daffyd come to mind), so...
Bolter shells? Antilustin-Pattern? Awesome! -
Or cute and fluffy - 4 furry boys at last count. by
on 2008-09-18 02:30:00 UTC
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(Stormsong, Drake, Redd, and Milask. Moses doesn't count in this context because he's only a couple of days old.)
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Re: Or cute and fluffy - 4 furry boys at last count. by
on 2008-09-18 12:43:00 UTC
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Digs up Codex Witch Hunters to check the price of an Inferno Pistol
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Hey by
on 2008-09-18 15:29:00 UTC
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DRake points a railgun at winter
"You're not burning my friends." -
Re: Hey by
on 2008-09-18 15:54:00 UTC
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Assuming I understood the warning correctly, it was that agent-in-training Nathanos will be under risk of some form of assault by fangirls should he leave his response center. Which is why I'm considering partnering him with a veteran Sister of Battle.
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FANgirls, here???? by
on 2008-09-18 17:39:00 UTC
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Drake cocks teh railgun.
"FANGIRL HUNT!!!!!" -
Re: Oh, yes you did. *sigh* by
on 2008-09-18 01:28:00 UTC
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The male of the two Agents I'm considering, tentatively named Nathanos, may be something of an exception-he's definitely well built, but he also has bionic augmentation due to injuries sustained before being referred to the Ordo Hydra, also known tentatively as the Warhammer 40,000 division (So named because for every head of the Ordo's target you destroy, three more arise). Probably at least an obvious bionic hand-maybe a full arm.
Current standard armament for him is a plasma pistol and a daemonhammer (extra-large hammer, blessed for the purpose of destroying daemons, which I believe Sues count as). However, given the scope of 40k, and thus 40k badfic, destruction of the non-canon elements may require additional firepower, which is why I'm considering leasing a Blackstone Fortress from Abaddon the Despoiler for planet-killing purposes. 40k won't miss a random planet. Or even a lot of random planets. -
And I suppose normal Mary Sues won't stand a chance. by
on 2008-09-18 01:31:00 UTC
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Intresting weapons. iz in awe
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Re: And I suppose normal Mary Sues won't stand a chance. by
on 2008-09-18 01:40:00 UTC
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Believe me, such weapons are necessary. WH40k takes place on a scale unlike most: it is entirely likely there will be not one Mary Sue, but an entire regiment of them, and removing non-canonical planets from the WH40k universe does demand planet-killing weapons, which are fortunately in abundance-any midsize starship (at least those of the Imperium of Man) has planet-killing weapons aboard, and the Imperial Inquisition has the authority to declare an order of Exterminatus, no questions asked-it's the reason I chose the Inquisition to represent the war against badfic spreading to 40k. Crossovers, you are warned.
However, while my specialization lies in Warhammer 40,000, I am also versed in several other continuums, and will happily undertake assignments against the following:
Star Trek
Star Wars
Harry Potter
The Inheritance Cycle (don't ask)
Baldur's Gate/Dungeons and Dragons in general
Exception: Lord of the Rings. Loved the movies, but it's been a long time since I've read the books. If I ever recieve a request to do a LotR assignment (i.e. heavier weapons than normal are needed), I would require assistance. -
I can tell. by
on 2008-09-18 01:54:00 UTC
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If you do get a LotR assignment...well I'm a Tolkien freak and so are plenty of others on this board. We'll help you out, for sure. Just tell us. :)
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Additional firepower by
on 2008-09-18 02:26:00 UTC
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My hitlist is already filling out nicely-I intend to hit Squad Broken, for one: the squickiest, most infamous WH40k "fanfic" ever to grace the general awareness of the 40k community. Really fairly tame compared to some things coughcelebriancoughchochangcough around here, but the 40k community normally prides itself on the general absence of slash, smutfic, etc.
Once the Ordo Hydra has finished setting up shop, however, WH40k-grade weapons will be made available to Agents upon request, assuming the flowers and senior agents do not shoot the idea down. I believe the Department of Geographical Aberrations in particular might appreciate having access to methods for erasing continents or entire planets in one strike. -
You're targeting Squad Broken? by
on 2008-09-18 12:07:00 UTC
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That's so cool! I hope you destroy those magic using Necrons and emo Orks.
PS: Anti-Lustin works on men too. Keep that in mind when you tackle it. -
Re: You're targeting Squad Broken? by
on 2008-09-18 12:34:00 UTC
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An Antilustin-pattern Armageddon Gun? Siccing the Planet Killer may be the safest course of action...
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Oh, and have you read Shinji and Warhammer40k yet? by
on 2008-09-18 12:21:00 UTC
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Here's the Link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3886999/1/ShinjiandWarhammer40k
What do you think of it? Is it good, or is it bad? I think it's tolerable, but I may not know... -
Re: Oh, and have you read Shinji and Warhammer40k yet? by
on 2008-09-18 12:33:00 UTC
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When in doubt, kill. When in certaintly, kill with fire. This one demands fire-oh, so much fire...
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Not that much. It's preety consistent with what I know... by
on 2008-09-18 12:56:00 UTC
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...about NGE(is that the right arconym?) canon and it dosen't really defile W40k canon that much(most of it is in his imagination). Of course, I'm just partway through the first chapter, but my badfic sirn has never been this quiet.
PS: If you consider my defense of this Crackfic heresy, let me inform you that i'm under the protection of my DIY God, Khanon(yes, bad pun). You're technically serving him now, previous allegiances to the Emperor, Eldar Gods, Chaos, C'tan or other Fictional dieties notwithstanding.
ANOTHER PS: Where do you live? From the looks of it, you're in a near enough time zone that you can reply to me in a few minutes or so. -
Re: Not that much. It's preety consistent with what I know... by
on 2008-09-18 13:08:00 UTC
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Then clearly you have been too lenient in your duties, Inquisitor. We have a tradition and an image to uphold-a sacred duty far too important to trust the auspexi this PPC branch of the Adeptus Mechanicus has gifted with. You are released from your duties, Inquisitor.
Executes WikiMaster with plasma pistol
I'm from Florida. -
Soul gets reincarnated into a new body... by
on 2008-09-18 13:31:00 UTC
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While you are too narrow-minded! The Codex Fanficrants says that any,
any fanfic idea, no matter how squicky, stupid, or crazy(like this one) can be done well by a competent enough author(like i estimate this one to be). And Codex TvTropes(link here:http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/ShinjiAndWarhammer40K), though not infalliable; gives it's sanction to it. By these holy words, respected by all who live here, I ask permisson to bend the rules preventing DaemonPossessed!Pokemon and OhSoHolyandSexy!Grammar Saints from cooperating in attempts to punish thee. Recives Permission
PS: Besises, It's not a crossover.
ANOTHER PS: Florida? no, not near enough to my time zone at all. It's 8: 31 pm here.
YET ANOTHER PS: Only one being can say that Khanon is a False God, and it is not you! And he's still not answering to any of our calls just now. -
Re: Soul gets reincarnated into a new body... by
on 2008-09-18 13:34:00 UTC
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Tones down sarcasm modulation
I was joking. My first planned hit is a Star Trek-40k crossover.
8:31 PM where you are? Singapore?
And for Khanon... I will have nothing more to do with you, heretic. It is the will of both the Emperor and the C'Tan that the universe be theirs for the taking-it is the duty I have taken upon myself to purge that which does not belong. -
In the same timezone as Singapore. by
on 2008-09-18 13:50:00 UTC
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Try to delve deeper into my origins, and we'll take this discussion to where the Board Constitution dosen't shine(Fanficrants itself? I've been thinking of opening an account).
PS:Khanon is dissapointed that you woudn't see sense He summons all the Internet Backdraft in the Multiverse and hurls it at you. The Bonds of the PPC's will to keep Flamewars into a minimum will not hold him for much longer (let's take this into Fanficrants okay? Or someplace more secure against demands for courtesy, like my LJ). -
Alas by
on 2008-09-18 13:57:00 UTC
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Alas, this is the only sector of the board that I'm aware of-I have not seen any Fanficrants sector, or indeed a seperate Fanficrants board, if it's a seperate group.
You still do not understand-I see no evidence of any awareness of 40k in my time lurking, and the instant I show myself and my intent, you crawl out of the woodwork to assert your authority over me? I am unimpressed. -
It is not a crossover! And Fanficrants is a... by
on 2008-09-18 14:06:00 UTC
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...separate group. You do not see all the forces of Fanfic Order here. In fact, you're blinder than I am.
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I hope that you be the first to refer to... by
on 2008-09-18 14:08:00 UTC
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...refer to your internet opponents as Nazis, for it will not be me.
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Please calm down by
on 2008-09-18 14:17:00 UTC
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Really, calm down. I was posturing and being arrogant because I was getting into my interpretation of the swing of things: being insane and greatly exaggerating just about everything. I was under the impression such behavior was encouraged here.
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Sorry about that. And no, such behavior is not... by
on 2008-09-18 14:36:00 UTC
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...encouraged here. From now on, I'm giving liks to the PPC Board Constitusion as gifts, not Anti-Lustin flowers. At least they're useful in real life.
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Re: Sorry about that. And no, such behavior is not... by
on 2008-09-18 14:43:00 UTC
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Should any rules lawyers be about, please inform me if I actually have violated the Constitution. When I channel insanity, it tends to result in very belligerent and arrogant behavior, but it is the result of my insanity and may be resolved at any point by telling me I'm getting out of line.
Or optionally, by applying a large blunt object to my head. -
Here's the link to the Constitution. by
on 2008-09-19 11:48:00 UTC
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http://oddlots.digitalspace.net/PPC/board_constitution.html
You've only come close to violating the rules, Thank the Emperor(or C'tan, if you're willing) I'll admit that iv'e also come close to the brink myself, but thinking of my friends always keeps me from jumping. Good day!
PS: Oh, and Khanon's gone looking for goodfic and belivers, so you're not goning to see him for some time. -
I'm logging off. Good Day! by
on 2008-09-18 14:38:00 UTC
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Or Good Night, which is also accurate in my case. I can't wait to sleep!
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Especially when it's Friday tommorow. by
on 2008-09-18 14:39:00 UTC
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Logging off for real now!
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I said 'refer to' twice, haven't I? by
on 2008-09-18 14:16:00 UTC
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It dosen't matter. I'm still not going to be the first.
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It's almost 9:30 pm in my timezone already! by
on 2008-09-18 14:33:00 UTC
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I don't have a social life, nor get invited to any parties(which is one of the reasons I frequent this board)!
Unlike Khanon, I don't have infinite energy reseves, so good night!
I promise you, We'll meet again. 6:35 in my timezone?
And no stabbing me in the back until then! -
Re: It's almost 9:30 pm in my timezone already! by
on 2008-09-18 14:37:00 UTC
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I just tend to have my laptop around a lot, and keep several forums minimized while I do other stuff (like taking notes, in this case) during class.
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Ah, okay. by
on 2008-09-19 11:55:00 UTC
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Have you checked our Wiki yet? Here's the Link:
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPC_Wiki
I used to work on it a while ago, but I lost the energy.
Have Fun! -
Re: Ah, okay. by
on 2008-09-19 14:37:00 UTC
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I'm already pretty familiar with the Wiki-as I've said before, the Wiki is how I found this place.
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Okay then! by
on 2008-09-19 15:27:00 UTC
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Gotta sleep. It's already 10:28 in my time zone.
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That's Siren not Sirn. (nm) by
on 2008-09-18 12:56:00 UTC
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I believe DOGA has Sun Crushers. by
on 2008-09-18 08:33:00 UTC
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Actually, they do, we all know that, but only a few Agents are qualified to fly them. And giving that bunch of pyromaniacs in DOGA the means to cause more explosions is probably not the most brilliant idea, however much they would appreciate it.
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True... by
on 2008-09-18 11:43:00 UTC
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Takes a look at 40k's arsenal
Finds flamethrowers of every size, right up to Inferno Cannons the size of skyscrapers designed for vehicles the size of cities.
And true... Blackstone Fortresses are powered by sacrificing souls in their power cores. Maybe just commission a new Planet Killer (take a wild guess what that ship does), or load up on cyclonic torpedoes to blast planets apart from the inside. -
Heya! by
on 2008-09-17 03:55:00 UTC
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Yay for new people!
I gift you with an egg whisk--it's shiny, gold-plated, and not only whisks eggs, but spambots and author wraiths as well! Be sure to use it for good and notmuchevil.
Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride! -
Sara, how do you do the cross out thingy? (nm) by
on 2008-09-17 23:46:00 UTC
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Same way you do italics... by
on 2008-09-18 05:38:00 UTC
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...but with an s instead of an i.
Soo...like thisminus the asterisks. -
Like this, right? (nm) by
on 2008-09-18 23:19:00 UTC
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*stabs* by
on 2008-09-18 05:39:00 UTC
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Hate.
[s]like this[/s]
But use s instead of []s. -
Hullo! by
on 2008-09-17 02:05:00 UTC
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Have a harpsichord. Because harpsichords make everything better. And have a battleaxe, because battleaxes are cool.
This Warhammer 40,000 sounds most intriguing. Chainsaws and flamethrowers, you said? -
Re: Hullo! by
on 2008-09-17 02:24:00 UTC
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Among MANY other things-if it can conceivably be shot out of a gun or somehow used as a weapon, there's a decent chance it's in WH40k. Good example: the Shokk Attack Gun, invented by the Orks. Fires gretchin (read: goblins) through the Warp (read: hell) to appear inside the target. Said gretchin are also usually insane after their journey through the Warp.
For an honest summary, read this: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Warhammer40000
Also note that I usually don't respond this fast-I'm just keeping the board minimized while I work on chemistry homework. I'm an active college student. -
*chomp!* by
on 2008-09-17 01:21:00 UTC
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Seeing how Ansela gave those links, and y'already knew anyway, I bestow upon you a bite. Which may or may not give you rabies.
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Re: *chomp!* by
on 2008-09-17 01:49:00 UTC
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Let's see, so far I've receieved a bite, a Catachan Devil egg, a chain mini-glomp from an assortment of bit characters, a poke, a ball of purple and gold rubber bands, a bolt pistol with spork ammunition, a set of power armour, and a plover...
Looks twitchily from the door to the path onward -
Not to mention... by
on 2008-09-17 08:55:00 UTC
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a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny.
Oh, and the minis aren't bit characters, they're miniature monsters from the continuum the cam from. If they were Lily's, then they'd have been Narnian dragons and LOTR Balrogs.
Just in case you weren't aware. -
Re: Not to mention... by
on 2008-09-17 13:42:00 UTC
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Ah, thank you for correcting me. Please don't hesitate to do so when I make mistakes.
Realizes he has lost track of where he was going and now is lost somewhere in the depths of madness-or HQ -
Mae govannen! by
on 2008-09-16 23:32:00 UTC
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Agents Eledhwen and Christianne bestow unto thee a gilded spork, while Lucy Pevenzi, Locy, Mara Labingi, and Ithillien give you a mini glomp.
...
I think they thought you were an OFU student. That has GOT to hurt. -
Re: Mae govannen! by
on 2008-09-16 23:35:00 UTC
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Limply reaches for the first aid kid
I am not enrolled in OFU, but I'm more than happy to sit in on classes. I think my Mary Sues are safely buried or rehabilitated (in one case, by having her [CENSORED] kicked by some acorns, among other things-don't ask), but the day I stop learning is the day I stop writing. -
*hands over a mini-standard first aid kit* by
on 2008-09-16 23:50:00 UTC
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Here. I have loads of these, seeing as I run the mini-Balrog Adoptions. Plenty of fire-healing stuff in there.
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Re: *hands over a mini-standard first aid kit* by
on 2008-09-16 23:54:00 UTC
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Mind if I grab some burn salves, then? One of the Agents I'm considering when the time comes is a Sister of the Adepta Sororitas, and they're known for mounting flamethrowers on absolutely everything. Don't think she'll turn on her creator, but...
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Burn salves? *hands over* And flameproof armour, too. (nm) by
on 2008-09-17 08:52:00 UTC
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Re: Burn salves? *hands over* And flameproof armour, too. by
on 2008-09-17 11:43:00 UTC
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Think this is rated for dealing with melta weapons, too? Melta weapons can best be described as anti-tank flamethrowers...
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Well... that might be a little trickier. by
on 2008-09-17 15:54:00 UTC
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What I've given you should do for the smaller stuff, though.
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Re: Well... that might be a little trickier. by
on 2008-09-17 17:14:00 UTC
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True enough. Thank you for your gift-I have no doubt it will be put to good use.
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Ah, the advantages to having Pokemon... by
on 2008-09-18 16:13:00 UTC
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Much more portable, and they discriminate between Sues and Agents. It's a reference to my Agents, they're the 'Mary Sue: Video Gaming division"
Though, if you're going for fire-proof stuff, I'm sure they have a Red Tunic from Legend of Zelda, that makes you fireproof enough to walk in the middle of volancoes... Literally. -
Oh, absolutely true. *grin* (nm) by
on 2008-09-16 23:37:00 UTC
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Welcome! First poke! by
on 2008-09-16 23:27:00 UTC
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Becuase it's been too long since newbies were poked. :P
Welcome! I see the others have already given you all the links... I don't think it's been mentioned that you need to hang around for a month or so before asking for Permission, so I'll say it... er, have said it. If you've been wandering the wiki you've probably found the Permission page anyway.
Hmm... not much else to say, I'm afraid, as I don't know any of your fandoms. Ah, well. Good to meet you!
- Sedri -
Re: Welcome! First poke! by
on 2008-09-16 23:32:00 UTC
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Ah-didn't know if the guidelines were to hang around lurking for a month, or actually introduce yourself.
No matter-I'm a college student, so I can keep myself occupied. -
A month after you've introduced yourself... by
on 2008-09-17 06:54:00 UTC
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Provided that you've been around. It's not so much the length of time as how much you've participated in the community - the Permission Givers want to have a sense of who you are and what you write before they give you the go-ahead to write within this world. Sometimes people hang around for months before asking permission, and sometimes they're still rejected. Rarely, though. Just hang around, become involved, be courteous and chances are, you'll get it.
Again, welcome! -
First ketchup! by
on 2008-09-16 22:57:00 UTC
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Welcome, winter! I gift you with a ball of purple and gold rubber bands. Use them wisely.
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Wait, Warhammer 40k? by
on 2008-09-16 19:56:00 UTC
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Sure. What faction are you in warhammer 40k? I'm a Space Wolf fan.
Hail to Leman Russ.
I offer you a starter kit of a bolt pistol that fires spork ammunition, and a set of PPC complinent power armour. Welcome. -
Re: Wait, Warhammer 40k? by
on 2008-09-16 22:14:00 UTC
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Necron fan here, but for the purposes of the PPC, I think I'll masquerade as a representative of the Inquisition-it would make some sense to have an Ordo Minor dedicated to the purgation of 40k fanfic, which is the background I intend to use once I work up the nerve to apply for permission.
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Ahhh by
on 2008-09-16 22:52:00 UTC
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Ahhh hail the god Emporer than?
So, how woudl you remove the sues? what weapons woudl you use?
And yeah, that makes sense. ALthough, what about Orc Sues, or necron sues? -
Re: Ahhh by
on 2008-09-16 23:07:00 UTC
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All Sues, crossovers, and badslash are to be targeted. The Agents I'm considering are a junior Inquisitor and a veteran Sister of Battle, and the weapons will be whatever is available-probably a daemonhammer for the Inquisitor and an Eviscerator for the Sister.
I've been browsing fanfiction.net for suitable targets, but the 40k fanfic-verse seems pretty well behaved, to be honest-the setting is insane enough that the presence of a Sue tends to get lost in the clutter, and 40k fanfic has a surprising number of honestly good writers. Not to say I haven't found some targets, and will probably find enough to keep me busy for the duration of my stay, but 40k fanfic is nowhere near as bad as, say, LotR or Harry Potter fic.
Still, thanks for the warm welcome. -
Although by
on 2008-09-17 14:30:00 UTC
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only one request. Let me help with any SPace Wolve sues, okay? And any female SPace Marines/. I know it is sexist, p[erhaps, BUT ONLY MALES ARE SPACE MARINES!!!! The genetic enhancements only work with the Y chromosome I think.
Also, if you want help, Willing ot help. I am a warhammer 40k fan, if you can't guess.
my email is dms22@njit.edu, if you want to contact me. -
Re: Although by
on 2008-09-17 14:40:00 UTC
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I'll certainly give you an email for female Marines, and yes, it's because the enhancement program works with male hormones, but I probably won't be doing much Mary Sue assassination-this is 40k. Bending the laws of physics to accomodate the protagonist's latest feat is not only expected, it's canon. Gary Stu is canon, because pretty much everyone is Gary Stu to a greater or lesser degre. To destroy characters for that is to assault a time-honored tradition of the Black Library and 40k fanfic.
My hunts will likely focus on egregious fluff rape (such as female Space Marines, and at least one fic I once read where Necrons joined the Tau) and badslash (yes, there's some in 40k). -
Ahhh by
on 2008-09-17 17:45:00 UTC
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Makes sense. Besies, you avhe the sisters of battle and there faith abilities.
So, you have come up with a dgeneral charghe list for the warhammer 40k universe yet?
Srue that redeeming the gods of Cahos are high on teh list? -
Re: Ahhh by
on 2008-09-17 18:13:00 UTC
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I'm working on it, but the main charges are looking to be crossovers (some exceptions: 40k is insane enough that only badly written/out of character crossovers will be considered), bad slash, plot armour above and beyond the call of duty, and the biggest, most overreaching category of charges: fluff rape.
A small sample of fluff rape charges:
- The Void Dragon awakening (heck, the Void Dragon doing anything besides sleeping, period).
- Necrons talking under anything but very rare circumstances.
- Reverse-engineering Necron technology
- Human/Xenos love affairs
- Human/Xenos crossbreeds
- Female Astartes
- Evil Sororitas (Well, more evil Sororitas who haven't become generic Lost And The Damned)
- Chaos Marines redeeming themselves into the Emperor's service.
- The two missing primarchs. Period.
- Any primarchs returning
- Orks not talkin Orky. -
nice charges by
on 2008-09-17 18:29:00 UTC
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what abotu the evil primarchs? Magnus the red coudl feasibly return, and some of the others, i think.
And willing to help out, if you wish.
Don;'t forget not using proper Orky Technology. IIRCl ethey have a feidl that defies the laws of physcics. -
Re: nice charges by
on 2008-09-17 18:36:00 UTC
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As I said, it was a small sample. I'm well aware that physics work the way the Orks think it does, and much more besides.
I will be fine on my own-I work best solo, and I've been sketching out the Agents. -
understood by
on 2008-09-17 18:38:00 UTC
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Good luck with those. Still, if any space wolves are harmed by a badfic, pleae let me know. would definately want to put the hurt on the sue.
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opps, the your welcome was/is me (nm) by
on 2008-09-17 14:32:00 UTC
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Heya! by
on 2008-09-16 19:26:00 UTC
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Hail and well met, and other such greetings!
Welcome to the PPC proper!
gives you a bag of pebbles for throwing at Sues and a Random Shiny Object Here you are! Newbie-gifts!
Ansela seems to have given you the necessary advice and links already, so I'll just add my agreement. Read thou not the Legendary Badfics, lest ye be brainscarred!
And in case you were wondering, yes, I am a co-writer for the OFUTRC. Why not sign up? XD -
Re: Heya! by
on 2008-09-16 19:36:00 UTC
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Because I would seek to eradicate the canon universe as well as the fanfic-I tend to loathe anime as a rule, and keep my distance from it. No offense meant. I will stick to continuums I am not tempted to annihilate out of principle.
I only dared try reading one of the Legendary Badfics, and my brain died after about ten minutes of Celebrian. -
First Egg! by
on 2008-09-16 19:22:00 UTC
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Welcome to the PPC! It's always nice to see a new face.
Here is an egg! No clue what'll hatch from it.
hands you a large egg -
Re: First Egg! by
on 2008-09-16 19:31:00 UTC
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Hmmm... my background specialty is Warhammer 40,000... it's an egg... my guess is a Catachan Devil egg. Might have to ask for permission to begin a fic earlier than I had planned-Catachan Devils are said to be very hungry when they hatch, and they like meat. Right off the bone, preferably.
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I dont' know what that is... by
on 2008-09-16 19:38:00 UTC
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...but it sounds fun! Enjoys your Catachan Devil!
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Re: I dont' know what that is... by
on 2008-09-16 19:43:00 UTC
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I'll give you a hint: Catachan is a world where everything, and I do mean everything (right down to the plants) is actively hostile to anything of human size or bigger-living to twelve is considered a major accomplishment on this planet. The Catachan Devil is considered one of the most dangerous critters on this planet. :)
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I know that by
on 2008-09-16 19:57:00 UTC
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You have that Imperial guard regiment from there as well. very deadly they are.
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Re: I know that by
on 2008-09-16 23:23:00 UTC
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Well, for the benefit of those not familiar with the insanity that characterizes 40k, the Catachan Devil resembles an approximate cross between a scorpion, a centipede, and a daemon, and it can grow up to about thirty meters long.
I get the feeling I might not want to take the Devil with me when I work up the nerve to apply for permission to write a PPC tale, though-even a juvenile Catachan Devil might be considered an unacceptable safety hazard. -
...wait, the PPC has safety hazards? by
on 2008-09-16 23:46:00 UTC
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I never heard about this!
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Re: ...wait, the PPC has safety hazards? by
on 2008-09-16 23:52:00 UTC
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True. However, as a prospective recruit specializing in Warhammer 40,000, I feel obligated to offer the warning that as a rule the qualifies for the DAVD: it is an exceptionally violent setting where billions of people die as a result of rounding errors on tax returns, planet-killing weapons are a dime a dozen and used frequently, and chainsaws can be found in the form of just about any weapon. Chainsaw swords? Ubiquitous. Chainsaw axes? Check. Chainsaw glaives? Check. Chainsaw scalpels? Check. Chainsaw fists? Check, in every size from tank-busting chainfists that fit onto heavy power armour to chainfists the size of tanks mounted on Titans.
Other weapons this setting tends to produce include flamethrowers of every description, guns that fire pure pain, guns that strip away the target molecular layer by molecular layer, guns that send you straight to hell, guns that fire goblins through hell, minigun rocket launchers, guns that shoot thousands of shuriken, razor floss cannons... the list goes on. -
Chainsaw axes? by
on 2008-09-17 00:34:00 UTC
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...where can I get one of these?
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Re: Chainsaw axes? by
on 2008-09-17 00:44:00 UTC
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Lots of places to obtain chainaxes, but the best bet would be to take one from a Khorne Berzerker, but if an Agent wants to get one, I have to recommend extreme caution: Berzerkers are extremely bloodthirsty supersoldiers who happen to be axe crazy with a side order of fries, and most of them carry a semi-automatic armor-piercing rocket launcher pistol as a sidearm. The ones that don't are worse: they use that free hand for another chainaxe.
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Oh man. Oh man. by
on 2008-09-17 07:04:00 UTC
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I want one, so bad. That would make my day.
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No. *swats with newspaper* (nm) by
on 2008-09-17 08:08:00 UTC
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-_- (nm) by
on 2008-09-17 08:12:00 UTC
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Re: -_- by
on 2008-09-17 11:45:00 UTC
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Well, since a branch of the Inquisition might be setting up shop here in the near future, I can always requisition a chainsword for you-chainswords are standard equipment for Imperial officers. Personally, I'm taking a daemonhammer as my weapon of choice.
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Hmmm by
on 2008-09-17 14:33:00 UTC
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can I requistion a bolt rifle and a set of tactial dreadnaught armor, aka Terminator armour?
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Re: Hmmm by
on 2008-09-17 14:41:00 UTC
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Depends. You Astartes or can bend the laws of physics enough? An unmodified bolt pistol once shattered an ordinary human's shoulder from the recoil, IIRC.
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Hmmmm by
on 2008-09-17 17:46:00 UTC
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Well, teh Sisters of Battle are humans, and they can handle bolt pistols, but then, it is the power armor that helps, IIRC.
As for Drake, he's an anthro fox from an anime continuum,, was a CAF, so he migt have enough anime physics around him to allow him to fire it. -
Re: Hmmmm by
on 2008-09-17 18:14:00 UTC
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Permission denied on charges of being from an anime continuum. Anime characters do not need bolters and will not have them.
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AHHH by
on 2008-09-17 18:29:00 UTC
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Please? Drake already have a railgun, and he wants a bolter. AT least a sprok firing bolter.
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Re: AHHH by
on 2008-09-17 18:35:00 UTC
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Only the awkward question. Only the foolish ask twice.
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okay by
on 2008-09-17 18:37:00 UTC
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Drake still has a lot to learn. he was a Cute Animal Friend before becming humanoid, and a sue's pet at that, so he doesn;t get what most of us get. And he will try the cuteness stares to get what he wants.
Naomi, who's frmo teh real world, would not mind several of teh needlers, or poison injectors they have. don;t remember the exact names, but if you give me a moment, coudl find out from the inquisitor 40k roleplay game. -
Re: okay by
on 2008-09-17 18:51:00 UTC
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We regret to report that the local branch office of the Imperial Inquisition, Ordo Hydra, is currently under construction. Installation of such a sub-sector would require the approval of higher-ups in the PPC. However, it is tentatively proposed to be a subdivision of the DAVD.
When complete, 40k-grade armaments may or may not be made available upon request. The phrase "overkill" comes to mind at the suggestion of introducing 40k-grade armaments to other continuums. -
First plover! (nm) by
on 2008-09-16 19:14:00 UTC
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Greetings by
on 2008-09-16 18:46:00 UTC
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Have a P-90. I know nothing of your fandoms, but all are welcome here. Have you by chance visited the Wiki yet? Or read The Original Series (not be confused with Star Trek).
Beware of those offering links to Legendary Badfic. Even the Wiki summaries have been known to scar minds. If someone offers you links to Legendary Goodfic on the other hand, feel free to read.
Come in, join the fun and leave your sanity at the door. You will not need it here.Sinister laughter? What sinister laughter?. Don't worry; most of us don't bite...most of the time anyway. -
Re: Greetings by
on 2008-09-16 18:51:00 UTC
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Yes, I've visited the wiki (that's how I found this place), enjoyed the original series, and read many of the PPC stories by others here-as I said, I've been lurking for a while, and have been attempting to familiarize myself with this place.
As for sanity, I have none to leave behind. As a common saying in WH40k goes, there is no sanity-only degrees of madness.