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The first time I tried my hand at that devilish machine, I forgot to use my "sun's glasses," and Sir Jesse had to keep the Fellowship of the Ring from murdering us for carting off a Sue. Sir Jesse does not know how to use the RA. The second time, I accidentally neuralyzed Jesse, instead. The poor man thought he was one of the Pevensie children.

I have since let him do the neuralyzing.

Also, your "cars," to be brutally honest, are minions of Paragory, and ought rightly to be destroyed.

--Agent Alleb of Alleble, DF

In all honesty, I am not sure what possessed me to act as I did, especially considering that the Doktor is as prickly as a moonrascal. The Knights of Alleble are not forbidden to marry, but... is it harsh to say that I am not sure I would wish to marry something like a fish? A fish with an accent that I can only barely understand? Oh, bother this whole mess! I fear I have given him the wrong impression about everything. He seems genuinely pleasant--I must make amends with him.

In short... I do not think so. I hope we shall be friends, though.

--Agent Alleb of Alleble, DF

Everything's been tryin' to kill me--have you seen those toaster things? One nearly took my arm off!

~This is Agent Alleb: Jesse shot the toaster. It was not trying to take his arm off. It does, however, burn toast magnificently.~

It nearly took my arm off, Alleb! It's snappier than a surly horse!

~It is not, Sir Jesse. Now kindly return to answering questions.~

Oh, fine! Darn knight. All the tekanalogy is either mean-spirited or possessed by somethin'. The people're weird, too. Still, ain't so bad after a little while. Better than sleepin' on the ground next to a herd of smelly cows.

Still don't know what that metal disk thing above the tub is...

--Jesse McKines

After the incident with the tea, figs and pencil he simply refuses to touch the console.

Yes, I'll write all the things you say to me without editing.

Well,

I'm a Dresdenverse wizard, or so it seems that's the way I would be called here. Any human practicioner from my 'verse worth its salt will screw up tech. The stronger and less experimented they are, the worst it is. And it leads technology around me to experiment critical failure after critical failure, the more advanced it is the harder. Now I would love to engage in a long and reasonable discussion but I litterally cannot do this right now, and I'm more than irritated that you're remembering me this fact, and I would like to pay your console a visit...

What? That's the gist of your message. Eh, the console would have censured these parts anyways.

Why do you never answer the questions directly and make Des answer for you? Are you just shy, or are you socially awkward?

What piece of technology took you the longest to get used to?

What is wrong with you and technology, love? Word through the grapevine (Yes, VJ, not the Flower) say that you made your console crash... I think OUR console felt that, too.

But then, I would get killed. And this is no joke to avoid answerin'.

The majority of warlock research and knowledge is stored in the archives of the Spiral Labyrinth. And at this point, if I say anythin' more, my geis will activate, so excuse me but I'd rather live for few more centuries. All I can say is, there is space between worlds called "the Void". Pandemonium is a rumored city of demons in the very centre of the Void. I'm a half-demon and I burn a lot of stamina when casting magic. Connect the dots, love.

P.S.: Y'all better brace yourselves. VJ says she's going to your RC to "collect the tribute". DO NOT LET HER TAKE ANYTHIN' ELSE!

...andthere's nothing in me that can act as a conductor, I won't get burned by electricity. Wikipedia has some information on how electrical burns are deadly to humans, if you're interested.

Fires started by electricity, on the other hand... yeah, fire=bad. Don't come near me with fire. Seriously.

Would a sparklepire be vulnerable to electricity? I mean, it causes burns, and since your venom is more flammable than kerosene...

Enjoyed it a lot more than my home continuum, I'll say that much, but... well, if I'm going to be made overpowered as all heck, I might as well take advantage of it, right? It's nice to not have to worry about much of anything hurting me.

Because three is a magic number...

You and Doktor Trollenfisch: still a thing? Enquiring etc etc you know this part.

hS

To Charlotte: Did you see Mrs Hydes' effort to rewrite your continuum? Would you have prefered to follow her rules about vampires?

(Cannot believe I forgot these ones.)

How's adjusting to HQ going for you? Still learning about how technology works?

I mean, we're already in the DMS, Freelance Division. Pretty sure I didn't forget to send the rapports.

Yes Marina, I know you didn't chose it, but frankly, you could have been in a worst situation, like Bad Slash.

However, Agent Alleb ist not beink in zer market for ein committed relationship vizz anyvun, let alone ein pink Qwilfish whose primary claim to fame ist playink zer Biggenbrassenparpenthingen qwite competently. Vows uff chastity, ja?

I am not cryink, I am just preparink to be usink zer move Vater Gun, zat ist beink all...

What department do you two plan on working in?

-Alleb, not the agent of the same name

I mean, she only saw that Dak Hamee wasn't some random Hork-Bajiir and discovered with him the little secrets of his homeworld, led with him a successful resistance against the fledgeling Yeerk Empire when your species ignored her for no good reason, letting go your last chance to destroy them without a long war, almost managed to thwart Alloran's efforts in genocide (only bad luck led to this 'almost')...

Like I said, it's telling that your species best members are seen as 'disgraces'. Must be why you needed five human kids to win this war for you.

Agents Michael, Mia, Alleb, and Jesse are open for questions!

Alex: It's going great, actually! I'm still working on building my own--I don't have a lot of time between other projects, but it's coming along--so in the meantime I've been borrowing a training lightsaber. I started off with Shii-Cho, but switched over to Soresu pretty fast after that blaster-wielding Sue broke in that one time...

As for Farilan, she's--well, I don't think I'm supposed to say what I think about her in public. I'll just say I really, really enjoy making her fetch me snacks. Hey, that's one of the best things about being a Techie: getting to do the ordering instead of getting ordered around. Good times, good times.

The Aviator: Yeah, I went there once, with the Guardsman. I don't want to talk about what happened.

As for my parents, there was... Lots of crying. Lots of yelling. Lots of hugging. We've made up since then and I managed to get a few hours off with Alex to spend his birthday at their house. Dad loved getting to see the inside of a TARDIS; he's the one who introduced me to Doctor Who, so it felt right to repay the favor.

Since I did it to Tacitus...

You and Agent Alleb: still a thing? Enquiring Agent Kaitlyns want to know.

hS

Constance: I don't miss it. You're right, there's a few things I do miss - not having to go shopping, easy access to medications, the social aspects of HQ, being able to choose which of my departments to spend the day on, the occasional 'lull you into a false sense of security' quiet days, the weapons, the-

Dafydd: Er, Connie...

Constance: ... but I don't miss it. Honest. Your turn.

Dafydd: Well... I don't miss the stress, or the hours, or the working conditions and superiors in general. The job itself? I don't miss the brain-melting aspects of it. Or the parts that lead to, e.g., people's hands getting blown up. And I can't tell you how happy I am not to have to feel narrative compression every time I step out of the door.

Oleander: I miss the sweeties!

Constance: ... you weren't in the PPC, Ol.

Oleander: Bu' I want to be in the BBC! I want to.

Dafydd: Not until you're much older, baby boy.

Jasmine: Yeah, Olly. Like me. I'm much older than you.

Oleander: I want to be older than you. I want to.

Tanfin: That's not how being older works, Oleander.

Oleander: But! I! Want! To!

Dafydd: ... Connie? I think we can turn the camera off now.

~

((And writing small children continues to be very easy when you actually have them. Luckily, the 'I want it/You can't have it/But I WANT it' style of argument seems to fade away by age 5... ~hS))

To Alex Dives: How is the lightsaber training going? Any advantages now you're no longer an intern? Does Farilan manage to be only mildly insufferable from time to time?

To the Aviator: Did you have the occasion to go on Gallifrey since its return? How did your parents... well, reacted to your return?

She was an exceptionally foolish girl who needed to learn her place. Running off and procreating with a-- shudder --a Hork-Bajir, of all things! Disgraceful, absolutely disgraceful.

As for you, human, you would do well to keep your slanderous words to yourself.