Subject: Sakura does hit Naruto in canon
Author:
Posted on: 2008-08-31 16:12:00 UTC
usually for doing or saying something stupid, perverted or rude. However, her wrath is not confined to Naruto nor does she hit him just for talking to her (unless his first sentence is 'Do you want to go on a date with me, Sakura-chan?')
I'm back from holiday, and thinking about actually organising some of my backlog. Some of it involves Bad Slash missions. However, I am not a natural Bad Slasher, and so must request help ...
1) The Naruto mission Kitsune106 and I agreed to share. We're struggling with what to do with the "pet" copies of the characters. Obviously the two leading felines need to die because they're disgustingly cutesy and nothing like the characters they're supposedly based on. What about the rest of them? Ansela recommended killing the lot at once, and they are blatantly character replacements because even I've read enough of the manga to know that Hinata is not a hermaphrodite with mouse ears (not making this up, I swear), but some of them might be salvageable or just too cute to kill. Even if the ones supposed to be based on canon characters aren't salvageable, what about the babies they produce in the later chapters?
2) I require help with the sporking of a much shorter Harry Potter badfic entitled "Suck", which mutilates the Nine Inch Nails song of the same name and apparently features Harry Potter raping Remus Lupin, or at least engaging in a deeply dubious situation with him. I believe Paddlebrains offered to help me with it when I first brought it to the attention of the PPC, but if she's busy it's okay. Any tips from anyone else would be welcome regardless.
Thanks in advance.
To any level you like. At least on the HP fic; I'll cowrite, advise, or just beta. Whatever you like. On the other fic I can beta read or whatever but I don't know the continuum.
Hope I can be of some help.
Do you think Harry in this fic is an outright replacement or just OOC? (Link here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1699444/1/Suck)
there's not even a tiny smidge of the real Harry in that character. Not a jot. I say kill it.
Sadly they both love NIN and would be rendered catatonic by what happens to it in this thing, so I don't know how much help they'd be.
"Y HELLO THAR, MR. HEAD!"
"Hey, Mr. Desk, how's it going?"
"Just fine and dandy. How are you?"
"Absolutely. Fantastic. It's lovely to meet you again, really."
"Know what you mean, know what you mean."
BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG
"...or not."
sigh Horrid. Harry does not rape anyone, much less one of his father's best friends. I will now repeat this mantra until my brain goes flurgy... bleh...
HARRY RAPES LUPIN!?
I don't remember exactly, except that it was disturbing and OOC. I was distracted by the abomination in the name of Trent Reznor, which I refuse to leave unavenged.
Sadly Agent Stormsong doesn't share my fervour, he'd probably go back and be lynched by the Nighthunt rather than have to spend a whole mission listening to a hideously off-key version of an industrial rock song, so Skyfire needs someone else to help her. He can babysit the M-kids in the meantime. (And then get punished for telling the Flowers exactly where they can stick the songfic by being roped in to help Naomi and Drake with the Naruto mission.)
Can definitely help with that one. Busy? What's that mean? is three quarters of the way through a four month holiday and bored to death
It's that or googledocs, since I'm still resisting Word. Address is birgit dot fishwife at gmail dot com.
I read that Naruto thing, and I'd say kill the horrible character replacements but save the babies. The kids might not be so bad in the long run, but even with my fairly limited knowledge of the Naruto universe I could see all the characters were completely wrong.
That Gaara thing needs to die. The only reason I ever even watched any Naruto episodes was because Gaara's backstory intrigued me. But that raccoon... thing... ugh, kill it.
They plainly aren't the Naruto characters, but character replacements have been recruited before. Kit says the Hinata one isn't so bad, though I haven't read enough of the manga to judge her.
The babies will be saved whatever happens, though. What are good names for hermaphroditic human/raccoon/tadpole things?
The Hinata mouse did seem pretty similar to what I've seen, and Sakura-bunny really didn't have enough time in focus to be totally ruined as a character.
For the tadpole-raccoon-human babies, maybe Milly and Jack?
That is, if you can figure out a way to save Sakura from Sasuke's unnecessary murderous attack. Hinata seems to act like she does in canon, i.e. shy and crushing on Naruto.
we can use a makes thing dummy to subsitute.
think that hte makes hting memorial fund woudl want a fast rabbit thing onboard?
as for the hinata mourse, any agents willingot take her in?
I'm assuming that by the Makes-Things memorial fund you mean the MTFFAT. Now, I haven't much knowledge about Naruto, so could I maybe have a bit more explanation of the circumstances under which this "fast rabbit thing" appears? I'm sure Tyler would welcome a partner of some kind, but I'd like to know a bit more about it first.
This is the character the rabbit thing is supposedly based on: http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Sakura_Haruno Imagine this girl as a teeny version of herself with pink bunny ears (and, apparently, a penis, since it insists that "all pets are hermaphrodites"), and that's what we'd be bringing back.
This bunny thing doesn't actually do anything except be ludicrously promiscuous (which the real Sakura is not), punch Naruto-kitten-thing (which the real Sakura may do, and anyway anything that displays violence towards the disgusting cutesy paedo-bait kitten thing is probably on our side), and get killed pointlessly and messily by Sasuke-kitten-thing because the author hates the actual character Sakura. Therefore, she plainly isn't the real Sakura, but we're not sure whether she needs killing.
usually for doing or saying something stupid, perverted or rude. However, her wrath is not confined to Naruto nor does she hit him just for talking to her (unless his first sentence is 'Do you want to go on a date with me, Sakura-chan?')
... does that make it more likely that she'd punch it?
The only people she's shown hitting in canon, outside of combat and training, are Naruto and Sai, the latter only when he calls her a hag, insults Sasuke or takes his teasing of Naruto too far. It's more of a comedic device than anything else.
Of course, this is a sickening paedo-bait kitten-thing and not Naruto, and it's a vicious unwarranted attack on Sakura's part not a funny moment so it's possible that Naruto's complete inability to touch canon with a ten-foot barge pole and the fact that this is a yaoi fic therefore canonical female love interests are 'teh ebil' is what provokes the attack.
... she's probably on our side and may be worth saving, because the kitten-thing deserves all the violent attacks it gets for being so disgusting.
So, who wants the saklura pet?
and anyone want the hinata pet?
They seem to be nearly as smart as humans, but their thought processes seem to boil down to "be cute for humans and be insanely creepy rapists in cute fluffy disguise when humans aren't around" ...
And they'd need to be renamed, since they're clearly not Hinata or Sakura.
S&S would approve, but may or may not be allowed to use it after the fiasco with their recruitment.