Subject: Suddenly, the vending machine next to them piped up.
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Posted on: 2009-04-22 18:25:00 UTC

"OBSERVATION: YOUR BICKERING APPEARS TO BE IRRITATING EACH OTHER. SUGGESTION: CEASE ABOVEMENTIONED BICKERING, AND ENJOY THE PARTY. ADMONISHMENT: THE DEAD WOULD RATHER YOU NOT SPEND THIS COMMEMORATION INSULTING EACH OTHER, I BELIEVE."

Sufficiently Advanced Vending Machine, better known as "SAVM" or sometimes "Savey" (by his partner), had kept silent for most of the party so far, appearing to be merely a vending machine placed against one of the walls. In fact, nobody had actually seen him enter, not even his partner, he just seemed to be there, making an exception of his rule of not dispensing drinks to "meatbags" in light of the events that had happened before his programming had been complete. The DoSAT technician that had made him included a program of the entire history of the PPC, so he knew what had happened and one of his databases had a complete list of the casualties, but the sentient vending machine had only been completed a few months after the events. Performing a quick scan of the three in front of him, he concluded that they were not Agents he knew of. Not only that, but they were apparently androids.

"INTRODUCTION: I AM SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED VENDING MACHINE, SAVM, DEPARTMENT OF BAD SLASH. PLEASED STATEMENT: IT IS INTERESTING TO SEE FELLOW NONORGANIC AGENTS HERE, AS YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT MEATBAGS. QUERY: ARE YOU THREE NEW AGENTS? I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU BEFORE."

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