Subject: The DIO wouldn't.
Author:
Posted on: 2009-02-04 12:56:00 UTC
The DIO's sole remit is to deal with PPC Canon Mary-Sues. Drake's just an Agent who happens to be an idiot. :P
The DIA on the other hand (I assume that's who you meant -- the DIS are gone gone gone) quite likely would; Drake's causing a major hassle throughout HQ, and that falls under their control. However, since he's not actually harming anyone, they might let it slide.
hS
... I've never actually seen that movie.
Anyway! It seems we have an epidemic on our hands, people. What do we think? What do we know? What can we prove?
We know that Agents of the PPC have been genderbent and that the effect doesn't appear to be limited to agents actually in HQ, though that one case could be a blip in the data. We don't know if all of HQ has been affected. Have agents on missions suddenly found themselves with a different set of parts? What about Flowers with a known gender? What about minis? Further investigations must be done in these areas.
We think this epidemic is linked to contaminated technology brought back from a mission by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove, with support from Agents Stormsong, Skyfire, and Drake, as well as Makes-Things and Dr. Fitzgerald. We also think Drake is probably to blame for spreading this contamination to the rest of the affected population. We can't prove this yet, as we don't know exactly what triggered the genderbend. We also don't know how to reverse the effect.
Further, we have yet to determine the extent of the effect. Is it just biology that gets switched? Is there an associated change in personality/behavior? In attire? Is sexual orientation affected? So far it seems the answers to these questions are Mainly Yes, Only insofar as hormones regulate personality/behavior, Yes, and No, but best to be sure.
Discuss.
~Neshomeh, who is taking an epidemiology class this term.
howdo we continue? and willthe weeds or DIA arrest drake anytime soon?
Courtesy the Tangled Webs site
This includes everything by myself, Neshomeh, Laburnum and Ansela, and all except one post by Kitsune. The material by Ugolino and Heliomance isn't included, as it isn't part of the main thread as yet, and also doesn't have pictures to go with it.
I've done a minimum amount of editing, mostly to a) put everything into the past tense, and b) introduce consistancy by making Naomi "he" and Drake "she" in all narration. Dialogue references have been left as they are. I've also adjusted the spelling (although one word left me stumped -- the DORKS "phrapped" and I have no idea whether that's what was intended, so I've left it) and punctuation in places.
I will be taking the pictures and storing them on the Tangled Webs image host, but haven't done so yet, so try not to delete anything. And, Laburnum, if you're reading, I know there's some difficulties concerning use of Stormsong and Skyfire, so if it's a problem we can either edit the story or take it down. It's not linked in to the site, so at present it's just all together for convenience.
hS
now we just have to figure out where to go form here. who wants to do the tech's technobabble?
At the moment, there's nowhere to go. We have a lack of internal consistency what with people dropping in and out of existence and, with the DORKS already recovered, no plot. So I think a bit of re-writing is in order before anything else happens. I'd like to see the foxhunt go on for a while, at least. We can still have Ansela and Risa catch Drake if they want to, but not so quickly. I'd also like to write my agents back into the scene to fill out that stretch where the RP left me behind.
Another problem is that I misinterpreted the door in hS's original post. He wrote "the door of HQ." I read "the doors of HQ," plural, and figured one of them would be the door to RC #999. Do we want the setting to be the corridor outside that RC, or something else?
~Neshomeh
Risa stayed in the RC. He won't leave unless a mission comes in and he needs to track down Ansela.
hS, I noticed a spelling mistake in one of my parts. The 'breath' towards the end of the penultimate paragraph of the first part should be 'breathe'.
how do we continue from here? maybe drake's flashpatch migth cahnge others into a harem girl style outfit?that is waht teh portal did to him when he went through it.
I don't think my normally female Agents would be very pleased about suddenly having harem girl outfits barely covering their new male bodies. Hell, they wouldn't be pleased about that even if they were still female. You want Drake skinned alive by a pissed off thief? I know, it wouldn't happen, but that's what he would threaten to do. He's already tried to shoot Drake, remember.
Besides, I wrote them having to change outfits because their usual ones were too small. And no one else has changed into harem girl outfits either.
not yet. could jstu take a whiel for the tech to recharge to send otu teh next pulse?
But meant doors as in exterior doors. I edited it to door in the compiled version to make it clear. I made a couple of other changes (I think notably Naomi looking in/out of the door) to make that fit. But yeah, bodge job.
hS
I don't mind placing Nume and Ilraen in the corridor by an exterior door, but then there should probably be some notice taken of the Outside.
~Neshomeh
So, conclusions so far:
-We need to edit it a bit to indicate that C&D came in from Outside.
-We need to extend the fox-hunt before Ansela catches Drake.
-We need to sort out the Lux thing. This is a conclusion I've just invented, but it makes sense. As it stands, what happens is: Ansela claims Drake was waving the DORKS, Drake claims she gave it to Lux, and then reveals that's a lie. But Ansela would've known it was a lie, and Drake doesn't seem to have any reason to say she did and then revoke it (except that Kit felt like he'd driven me out of the thread or somesuch, which wasn't true :P). So that could do with making more sense.
I think we can agree that the genderbending is because of the DORKS... or can we? Kit keeps suggesting it's something to do with Drake's flashpatch, while it could also be the portal device MT rescued from the 'fic... but it's probably the DORKS. So the plot needs to centre around who has the blessed thing.
Hmm. How about (just a suggestion, now) we turn Drake's lie into the truth. Ansela never saw the DORKS, and Drake /did/ give it to Lux (or at least to someone). Then we can have a severely picked-on Drake forced to go along and try to help retrieve it, all while (if it is Lux) the genderbending takes on new quirks as Lux fiddles with the DORKS. Since you /know/ she'd do /something/, and don't I remember her fiddling with technology sometime during TOS?
... bother. You know /he'd/ do something, etc. Genderbent.
Okay, I don't know.
hS
I think Lux is being unfairly abused, though. She isn't the only agent crazy enough to mess around with a random DORKS.
If we wanted to descend into the truly ridiculous, we could have the thing handed off multiple times:
"Oh, that? Yeah, I had it, but after I poked it a few times and it didn't do what I wanted, I threw it at a random passer-by for laughs. Dunno where it is now."
"DORKS? Yeah, some jerk threw it at me. Didn't seem to work, so I dropped it in the Fountain of Bleepka."
"I thought I saw a really nice sword in the Fountain of Bleepka, but when I picked it up, it was just a DORKS. So I left it in the cafeteria."
Et cetera, et cetera.
~Neshomeh
who throws it on to someone else, who discards it when they get bored with it and someone else picks it up and passes it to someone else ad infinitum?
Sounds good to me.
Could it be possible that Drake, realising that she was going to get caught, threw it at the first non-Ansela Agent she saw, who happened to be Lux.
Kitsune, would this be plausible for Drake to do, or not?
He would. in an interlude, Drake does seem to know Lux. Mainyl that he doesn't get what she wants him to do.
DRake woudl do that. He is clueless and naive.
and as for the flashpatch thing, was just trying to think of various ways or theories for it to be spread. but it is the dorks, i guess. although why it did it, and effected all agents past and present, i have no clue. Sure that hS has a good reason though.
Given that C&D had no PPC technology with them (although apparently they did have a portal generator of some sort, unless the door they came in through is local), introducing the flashpatch as a source wouldn't solve any problems, and would just mean we were chasing the wrong bit of tech for the entire story. So it's easier to keep it as the DORKS and just assume it's Narrative Comedy at work.
hS
also making it up.
okay, narrative comedy it is. that works.
It's always plotholes when Sue-stuff gets involved.
I thought there might have been some interaction between the DORKS and the contaminated portal device, too, since they were both contaminated at the same source. Like I said, if someone tried hooking the portal device up to the main network, that's an easy connection between it and the portals/plotholes HQ is made of. Once the entire portal/plothole network of HQ is exposed, everyone is exposed.
That way, we still need the DORKS to fix it--it's just that we also need the DORKS to talk to the portal to talk to the network. Does that make sense?
~Neshomeh
One, when shall we play the hot DORKS game?
two: did the gender bending affect the flowers too?
Shoudl we start it here, the annoyance here? I have a good idea of how to start it, adn what caused it.
evil laughter
Enter a couple of poor schmucks who have no idea what's going on, one of whom is unreasonably disturbed by the whole thing and really wants to make it go away. Do they set out by themselves to seek the cause and its cure, or does someone find them first? Where do they go? Who do they meet? What ridiculous things happen along the way?
~Neshomeh
Who thickened the plot? And more importantly, where?
hS, lost
If people add stuff to it, that is.
... I'm trying to be optimistic. {; p
~Neshomeh
drake si still unaccounted for. For all we know, it could be carried in DRake's flashpatch, whatever is causing this. what woudl happen if whatever is causing this got carried along the flashpatches?
... it'd have a sharding hard time affecting Dafydd and Constance, since they've been retired for two and a half years.
hS
But they still once wore a flashpatch, and used PPC technology made plotholes. This device, being an older model portal built for OFUs, somehow locked onto the signature of those who had worn the flashpatch, and/or used a PPC plothole, and altering their gender too. Although, that woudl mean that anyone who uses PPC plotholes or had worn a flashpatch, might be effected, which might mean that any surviving black cats would also be effected, not a good thing.
Angry Black Cats? I don't think we want that much of a crisis on our hands. {= P
I think we're set with contaminated DORKS + contaminated portal = genderbender epidemic. It sounds to me like a question of hunting Drake down, finding everything that went into causing the problem, and putting it together in the right way.
My main question was, which agents are getting involved with the main thrust of events? Nume and Ilraen are.
Also, who's getting a cameo? FicPsych in general might make an appearance. DMS Agents Derik and Earwig might appear for the lulz.
~Neshomeh
We do not know when the genderbending of most of HQ took place. However, the genderbending in RC#45 occurred in February 2009 HST, as it fits the Plot.
It is unknown whether sexual orientation is affected, as Agent Trojie has only ever hitherto expressed desire for unattainable musicians, and Agent Paddlebrains is and has always been incorrigible.
Clothes have maintained stati...il such time at which they have been removed. At which point no-one was paying attention. Clothes could have spontaneously combusted, for all the inhabitants of RC#45 noticed.
One change in behaviour has been noted: sexual inhibitions relating to prior bodies appear to be decreased. More details to be released at a later date, assuming we ever stop laughing.
Since plotholes are involved, the effect could take place at different times for different people, if necessary. That would be interesting. "So, are you normally this sex?" "Funny you should ask. I am, but last month I randomly switched for [insert time frame here]."
~Neshomeh
If it's different times for different people, we shall edit our interlude accordingly.
Pads, I must add, has rather enjoyed it. She's missed being a bloke.
...the effect doesn't appear to be limited to agents actually in HQ, though that one case could be a blip in the data.
Two cases. Narto and Louise were also bent, and are also outside HQ. Lou wasn't even with the PPC in this timeline, so that makes no sense.
In addition, it seems to have affected children (or at least I think Molly was...), in and possibly out of HQ (although no one ever checked Tanfin to be sure). It may or may not have affected animal companions, ie fire lizards.
Is sexual orientation affected? [...] No, but best to be sure.
I would say, in fact, yes. It's been reversed, at least in some cases. Lou and Narto, specifically, seem to be attracted to one another as things stand. Whether the effect is a reversal, or merely an overlaying of attraction to the opposite gender to your current form (as I think the TF gun does), I don't know. I can't remember what Drake's sexuality's like normally, and I think she's the only one who's done anything else romanticish.
The question of whether it affects Flowers is, as you say, currently unanswered, but would be very interesting to see, since it would resolve the Gender And Flowers debate once and for all. It would also be interesting to find out what, if any, effect it has on the following:
-Asexual lifeforms with a neutral persona
-Asexual lifeforms with either male or female personalities
-Robots (eg, CAL-9000)
-Anyone with multiple personalities (would the multiples be changed too?)
I'm not sure whether any other than robots actually exist in HQ, though.
hS
Yes, according to EGS canon, the TF gun adds hetero attraction to the switched person's usual orientation, therefore a straight guy would become a bi girl, etc. Official explanation is because it was designed for use by genderless aliens who wanted to settle among and interbreed with species which did have genders. Drake is pansexual (i.e. potentially likes everyone, including men, women, and tentacle monsters - hey, he's from an anime continuum) and didn't even understand the concept of orientation as such until Naomi explained it after a TS Bad Slash mission, so nothing's changed for him/her.
In the genderbending mission which started everything, nothing changed because they weren't using El Goonish Shive technology to genderbend until Skyfire got zapped at the end bit. The Sue tech works some other way.
Lou claimed to have done it herself in their case. Which implies coincidence on a massive scale... although with her around, that doesn't mean much.
hS
The genderbend, the reversed sexual orientations, or both?
To be honest, I was assuming it would work the same way it did in the mission--the agents all seemed to have retained their orientations there.
~Neshomeh
She specifically claims that she went and grabbed a TF gun. Which means there's no reason their orientations should change or not in the same way as in HQ, so.
hS
we are not sure. Makes Things was working on it before he died, so we are not sure what was done. And the portal which caused it is PPC technology, so who's to say it wasn't some kind of sentient virus now?
As to how it affected all PPCers, some kind of plothole interaction? since the PPC is made out of plotholes, maybe a ripple effect that spread through plotholes and which affected all agents? and since Portals are plotholes, means all agents returning are affected?
and yes, Drake is pansexual. He woudl, has, will hit on lux even. Poor Stormsong and Skyfire knows he hits on them.
It sounds very techno-babble-ish. ^_^ And, the plothole thing makes sense. My idea is that someone did something with the Sue-contaminated portal device--turned it on the wrong way or something--and instead of working like a regular portal, it tapped into a bunch of plotholes, which caused the genderbend. So, to undo it, they'd basically have to recreate the same circumstances with the contaminated portal device. That way, it would tap the very same plotholes, which should now contain everyone's original gender, outfit, etc., and things will go back to normal.
Not without some amusing trial and error, though, I'm sure. eg
~Neshomeh
Most likely Techno Dan gave the DORKS back to Drake and Naomi, not realizing not fully fixed. Drake used it to go female, it instead tapped into the halfway fixed Sue portal, (which is actually PPC tech that was stolen by sue spies and reworked) and since it was PPC tech, it was able to bypass the security protocols, and did the ripple effect.
Now, the question I have is, would DIS or DIO get involved, since it is sort of Drake's fault for the genderbending?
The DIO's sole remit is to deal with PPC Canon Mary-Sues. Drake's just an Agent who happens to be an idiot. :P
The DIA on the other hand (I assume that's who you meant -- the DIS are gone gone gone) quite likely would; Drake's causing a major hassle throughout HQ, and that falls under their control. However, since he's not actually harming anyone, they might let it slide.
hS
True. It is a hassle, but well, none is harmed yet. that might cause a problem later. think any agents on missions were affected as well? That might be a problem as well. imagine your disguise suddenly shifting gender....
He feels extremely wronged. Violated, even. He might go so far as to say harmed. {= P
As for agents on missions suddenly switching, I think it would be hilarious and therefore must happen, but that's just me.
~Neshomeh